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My Life as a Boy
[...] What I really didn't want to hear was the day James told me we couldn't do the sex thing anymore. I don't recall his exact words but something to the effect "this just isn't right or this isn't normal". I was crushed. It (our friendship) seemed so normal and great to me that I didn't understand why he felt that way. My suffering didn't come from the hands of an abuser, my suffer came from the words of a man who feared for my wellbeing.
[...]
There are ten thousand therapist out there who would still say I was a victim at the hands of an abuser. I was not. I have every reason in the world to give in to what I have been told, and put all my problems on James, But James was not the problem! I was there. I know what happened, and I know how I felt. Maybe I'm the only boy in the world that had a loving caring relationship with an adult man but I doubt it. This is a true story, and all I'm asking is for you to realize that you are being fed a bunch of crap when you are told intergenerational relationships are always bad. They are not always bad and I am living proof. [...]
[...] What I really didn't want to hear was the day James told me we couldn't do the sex thing anymore. I don't recall his exact words but something to the effect "this just isn't right or this isn't normal". I was crushed. It (our friendship) seemed so normal and great to me that I didn't understand why he felt that way. My suffering didn't come from the hands of an abuser, my suffer came from the words of a man who feared for my wellbeing.
[...]
There are ten thousand therapist out there who would still say I was a victim at the hands of an abuser. I was not. I have every reason in the world to give in to what I have been told, and put all my problems on James, But James was not the problem! I was there. I know what happened, and I know how I felt. Maybe I'm the only boy in the world that had a loving caring relationship with an adult man but I doubt it. This is a true story, and all I'm asking is for you to realize that you are being fed a bunch of crap when you are told intergenerational relationships are always bad. They are not always bad and I am living proof. [...]
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Gay and Bisexual Men's Age-Discrepant Childhood Sexual Experiences;
The Journal of Sex Research;
41(4), 381-389
This study examined childhood sexual abuse (CSA) in gay and bisexual men. We compared
to evaluate which definition best accounted for problems in adjustment.
The sample consisted of 192 gay and bisexual men recruited from a randomly selected community sample. Men's descriptions of their CSA experiences [id est: CSE] were coded from taped interviews.
Fifty men (26%) reported sexual experiences before age 17 with someone at least 5 years older, constituting CSA according to the age-based definition.
These findings suggest that a perception-based CSA definition [CSE] more accurately represents harmful CSA experiences in gay and bisexual men than the conventional age-based definition [CSA].
In conclusion,
... the standard convention of defining age-based childhood sexual abuse as uniformly negative, harmful, and coercive may not accurately represent gay and bisexual men's sexual experiences.
Combining perception-based CSA experience [id est: CSE] with noncoercive, nonnegative, nonabusive experiences, as the age-based definition does, presents a misleading picture of childhood sexual abuse.
An age-based CSA definition inflates prevalence rates of childhood sexual abuse and inaccurately suggests that the maladjustment associated with perception-based CSA [id est CSE] experiences applies to all childhood age-discrepant sexual encounters.
In contrast, these results suggest that gay men with histories of nonnegative, noncoercive childhood sexual experiences [CSE] with older people are as well adjusted as those without histories of age-discrepant childhood sexual experiences.
However, both definitions of CSA [age-based CSA vs experience based CSE] account for only a very small proportion of the variance in adult adjustment problems.
Contrary to popular belief, negative outcomes do not inevitably follow from gay and bisexual men's childhood age-discrepant sexual encounters.
This study examined childhood sexual abuse (CSA) in gay and bisexual men. We compared
- the conventional definition of CSA based on age difference with
- a modified definition of CSA based on perception [CSE - Child Sexual Experience]
to evaluate which definition best accounted for problems in adjustment.
The sample consisted of 192 gay and bisexual men recruited from a randomly selected community sample. Men's descriptions of their CSA experiences [id est: CSE] were coded from taped interviews.
Fifty men (26%) reported sexual experiences before age 17 with someone at least 5 years older, constituting CSA according to the age-based definition.
- Of these men, 24 (49%) perceived their sexual experiences as negative, coercive, and/or abusive and thus were categorized as perception-based CSA. Participants with perception-based CSA experiences reported higher levels of maladjustment than non-CSA participants.
- Participants with age-based CSA experiences who perceived their sexual experience as non-negative, noncoercive, and nonabusive [51%?] were similar to non-CSA participants in their levels of adjustment.
These findings suggest that a perception-based CSA definition [CSE] more accurately represents harmful CSA experiences in gay and bisexual men than the conventional age-based definition [CSA].
In conclusion,
... the standard convention of defining age-based childhood sexual abuse as uniformly negative, harmful, and coercive may not accurately represent gay and bisexual men's sexual experiences.
Combining perception-based CSA experience [id est: CSE] with noncoercive, nonnegative, nonabusive experiences, as the age-based definition does, presents a misleading picture of childhood sexual abuse.
An age-based CSA definition inflates prevalence rates of childhood sexual abuse and inaccurately suggests that the maladjustment associated with perception-based CSA [id est CSE] experiences applies to all childhood age-discrepant sexual encounters.
In contrast, these results suggest that gay men with histories of nonnegative, noncoercive childhood sexual experiences [CSE] with older people are as well adjusted as those without histories of age-discrepant childhood sexual experiences.
However, both definitions of CSA [age-based CSA vs experience based CSE] account for only a very small proportion of the variance in adult adjustment problems.
Contrary to popular belief, negative outcomes do not inevitably follow from gay and bisexual men's childhood age-discrepant sexual encounters.