IV Selected
Case Studies
Summary
of interviews
As
the interviews progressed, it became clear that although these men share the
same sexual preference they are different in many other ways, including their
approach to paedophilia. We decided that it would be useful to present a
summary of each person in terms of the unique features of that individual’s
lifestyle as perceived by the interviewer, recognising that this represents a
subjective impression rather than objective data.
No.
7 ‘Rex’:
The most interesting feature of Rex’s life is that he is the
only paedophile we interviewed who is married. His wife was aware of his
paedophilic interests when she married him. He provided us with a classic
remark in commenting that he has come to realise that paedophiles need a good
travel agent rather than a psychiatrist, which seems fairly perceptive in view
of the legal restrictions that exist in some countries while not in others. In
his work Rex occupies a position of some status, and the professional attitude
that he must have to display there carried over to the interview.
No.
12 ‘Adam’:
What was most obvious about Adam was his enthusiasm in
discussing his paedophilic interests. More than any of the others interviewed,
he seems to have declared openly his love for children, and he does not
hesitate to express it when the opportunity arises, as it did in this
situation. Subsequent to the interview, Adam contacted us to let us know that
criminal proceedings had been brought against him and if we did not hear from
him by a specific date then we should assume that he had been convicted and
sentenced to prison. We did not hear from him again.
No.
19 ‘William’:
The isolation that he experiences was very obvious
throughout the interview with William. Indeed, there was almost a sense of
tragedy about his present circumstances. A conviction for what appears to have
been an isolated paedophilic relationship against a background of
heterosexuality and a distinguished career as a teacher seems to have left
William a somewhat lonely man. In his particular situation, the development of
his paedophilic interests appears to have been as much situationally
determined as the result of any predilection he might have had towards a
sexual relationship with a child.
No.
35 ‘Eric’:
It was obvious that Eric has done a great deal of research on
the topic of paedophilia. As he is so knowledgeable about the behaviour, he
was able to place his interests in a historical perspective, and throughout
the interview he sup-ported things that he said with references to the
existing literature on paedophilia.
No.
43 ‘John’:
In his present circumstances, John seems to be, more than any
other subject interviewed, involved in what might be described as a perfect
relationship from a paedophilic point of view. In discussing his total
involvement with a boy at present—a situation which exists with the parents’
tacit approval - John acknowledges the unique circumstances of the
relationship. Interestingly, John was involved with the boy’s older brother
previously and seems to have functioned very much as a ‘big brother’ to
both of these boys.
No.
48 ‘Neil’:
At the time that he completed the initial questionnaire, Neil
had not been sexually involved with a child; however, in the period prior to
the interview, he had become deeply involved with a boy in a relationship that
did involve a sexual component. The concern that he felt about taking this
step was apparent, as was his confusion over how such a relationship should be
conducted. The degree of personal anguish he expressed over his future, if
this is the direction his life will take, was obvious. If one had not known
that Neil is a paedophile and was describing a relationship with a boy, it
would have been very easy to assume that he was recounting the trials and
tribulations encountered in any ‘first love’ relation-ship as might be
experienced by heterosexuals.
No.
55 ‘Peter’:
Peter was concerned that we should be given the ‘whole’
picture with respect to paedophilic behaviour and following his initial
interview contacted us to see if he might come in again to provide us with
more information, which he did. He appeared to be very much at ease discussing
the paedophilic lifestyle, and he described in some detail the international
scene, particularly as it occurs in countries where age of consent is not a
factor, as in the Philippines. He gave the impression of being a travel agent
for his paedophilic friends as his work in the airlines allows him to travel
extensively and investigate circumstances in other countries. He came to the
second interview with pictures, most of which he had taken himself, to give us
examples of the types of boys he found attractive.
No.
62 ‘Garry’:
Garry was one of the subjects who was somewhat suspicious of
our intentions in these interviews. His particular concern was that we were
interested in finding a cure for paedophilia, which emerged when he was
questioned concerning his relationship with his parents. He was also one of
those who was able to describe a relationship that has continued on into adult
life even though the sexual component has ceased to be important. In this
particular case, he is the godfather to the son of the man whom he was
involved with when the latter, who is now married, was a child.
No.
64 ‘Harry’:
Harry was the most difficult of all of the subjects to talk
to. He was very hesitant to discuss his situation and was much less
forthcoming concerning his behaviour than the other paedophiles interviewed.
He was the only subject who did not appear to be exclusively paedophilic in
his sexual orientation; rather he described himself as a sexual ‘libertarian’,
which seemed to imply that his sexual activities could involve relationships
with adults as well as children. In fact, the only sexual contact that Harry
did not mention having been involved in was a homosexual relationship with an
adult male.
No.
81 ‘Derek’:
Derek gave the impression of being completely at ease with his
lifestyle, to the extent that he lives with a boy he was involved with in a
paedophilic relationship and who is now married. The wife is aware of the
relationship that existed between her husband and Derek and apparently does
not object to the latter’s presence in their home. Derek is also employed in
a job which brings him into close contact with children; however, he avoids
paedophilic encounters in this situation. He has been involved in long-term
relationships of five years while at the same time visiting the Philippines
for short-term experiences with boys there. In many ways, Derek seemed
childlike in his behaviour and attitudes and did, in fact, describe himself as
a ‘Peter Pan’ who had never grown up.
S7: ‘Rex’
:
Rex
is of small build and has fairly long black hair. He gives the impression of
being well educated and speaks with a slight stammer which was more noticeable
when he discussed more intimate details of his life as a paedophile. He became
more relaxed as the interview progressed, and as he was very open in
discussing his paedophilic behaviour the interview lasted for about 90
minutes. He seemed completely at ease by the end of the interview and, in
fact, extended an invitation to the interviewer and Dr Wilson to have dinner
with him and his wife at their home. He seemed very satisfied with the
interview and it appears that paedophilia is a well integrated part of his
life which includes his relationship with his wife.
When
asked about his preferences among children Rex indicated that he is bisexual.
In fact, his interest in children began with girls and extended to boys. The
preferred age range is from 3 to 14, although for girls the ceiling age is
generally about 12. When asked what it is about children what attracts him
physically, Rex described ‘a kind of misdirected instinct’. Even as a
child he was revolted by body hair. Besides this, he finds in children a ‘plastic
beauty’ which, although some people may see as unfulfilled, he sees as
perfect in itself. A ‘live agility’, ‘unselfconscious deportment’ and
‘state of unshock-ability and intense curiosity’ are also qualities
attributed to children which he finds desirable. Children are seen as being
quite open-minded about what they want in life; they don’t have a need to
categorise things as being acceptable or unacceptable. Rex admits that this
attraction is quite difficult for him to articulate, but certainly not all
children would be attractive to him. When a child does begin to display body
hair, and in the case of boys, their voice changes, they become sexually
unattractive to Rex, although the psychological involvement is likely to
remain. To be ‘let into the interior life’ of a child is described as ‘a
very great honour’ as they can be very secretive.
When
asked about sex with adults, Rex pointed out that he is married and so has had
some heterosexual involvement. He also admits to several homosexual
relationships with adult men, although he describes these as having been
somewhat narcissistic in that he derived a great deal of pleasure from the
idea that he could be sexually attractive to someone else. Despite these
admissions his preference is for a paedophilic relationship.
At
this point Rex was questioned about the effect that being a paedophile has had
on his marriage. It appears that his wife was aware of his paedophilic
interests before they got married three years previously. A heterosexual
relationship ‘was not on my agenda’ is how Rex describes his thinking
about it at the time. His wife does not share his interests but is described
as being very understanding concerning his paedophilic behaviour. He says they
are very happy together. Their sexual involvement is now minimal, although
they ‘tried it out’ initially. ‘I could say that my wife has more of a
maternal role, than in the ordinary husband and wife existence’. Rex is
forty years old, while his wife is fifty-two. Their relationship appears to be
quite successful as he and his wife share a great deal of their life.
Asked
how much he is currently involved with children, Rex replied: ‘I’m
retired, or I’m resting as they say in the acting trade.... I’ve decided
that what many paedophiles need is not necessarily a psychiatrist but a good
travel agent.’ He feels that the problem of paedophilia is really a
geographical one which can be resolved by travelling to a part of the world
where attitudes towards adult-child sexuality are different to those in
Britain. Examples that he provides are the Arab sectors of Israel and the
Philippines, which he hopes to visit in the future. For pornography he has
visited Holland. He stresses the importance of fantasy in his life but points
out that it is also very important for most heterosexuals. In this context he
identifies two elements of sexuality - the romantic and the erotic.
Pornography is most important in connection with the latter. It allows one to
‘make do with the next best thing’.
Other
than during his visit to Israel, Rex has not been involved with any children
for about six years. Prior to that he acknowledges having been involved in
relationships with five boys and two girls. These would appear to have been
long-term relationships, two of them having lasted five years. Rex plays down
the sexual aspect of these relationships. He has never been charged with any
offences in connection with his paedophilia.
Asked
about his parents, Rex talked about his mother first. She is described as
being possessive, neurotic, possibly a lesbian, and dominating to the extent
that ‘she still sends me lists of what socks to wear’. He also feels that
she has ruined his father’s life, since he is a very passive personality who
has had to ‘wait on her hand and foot’. A lesbian relationship which his
mother was involved in ended in 1960 when the woman died. His parents were
very inhibited sexually. Rex never saw them kiss one another and words of
affection between them were rare. He received little sex education from his
parents.
When
asked about his early sexual experiences Rex initially mentioned the idea of
compulsion, or ‘making an object do what it doesn’t want to’, as being
sexually stimulating. Apparently this was often focused towards babies as he
describes being excited by advertisements of babies in nappies when he was a
young boy. Part of the appeal seems to have been the ambivalence or
uncertainty about the sex of the child depicted in this manner.
Rex’s
first experiences of physical sex occurred when he was about fifteen and
involved mutual masturbation sessions with other boys at school. At this
school any contact with girls was discouraged and if discovered apparently
resulted in expulsion. Rex claims that even as a boy he had a sexual interest
in children younger than himself.
Rex
feels that although paedophiles often seem very quiet, ‘in fact, sexually we
are raging infernos, not of open sexuality, but of curiosity’. A great deal
of sexual energy is spent in fantasising about the sexual aspects of children;
he ‘swoons away on buses’ when he sees a child. ‘I’m always on the
watch for children, I never give up.’ If the opportunity did come up now he
would want to become involved in a paedophilic relationship. At present,
however, the outlet for his paedophilic desires is limited to fantasy.
Asked
about the legal restrictions on paedophilia, Rex maintained that, although the
laws relating to sex between children and adults are unlikely to change, what
concerns him is the effect that a paedophilic encounter may have on a child
when the legal forces become involved. He feels that most of the damage is
done by society, which inflicts attitudes and subsequently investigations on
the child who has been involved sexually with an adult. This is what will do
the child great harm and should therefore be changed.
The
predatory tendency often attributed to paedophiles is seen by Rex as being a
characteristic of sexual behaviour in general and is not specific to
paedophilia. The idea of violence towards children is considered incompatible
with the paedophilic style, which is to love children. However, the point is
made that although each person is responsible for his actions, he may in
fantasy engage in activities he would not actually perform in reality. For
example, the idea of disciplining a child by spanking may be attractive in
fantasy and yet actually punishing a child in this way would be seen as
undesirable and not something he would want to do.
When
it was observed that Rex seems to have integrated his paedophilic interests
into his life successfully he acknowledged the support he had received from a
psychiatrist, who had not tried to change him but rather had helped him to
make a happy adjustment to his situation. He saw the psychiatrist during a
period of depression precipitated by what he considers a missed opportunity
with a young boy. He chose not to take advantage of a chance to become
involved with the boy, something which he later regretted and became depressed
about. He saw the psychiatrist regularly for two years, after which they
parted on good terms with the understanding that he could return if ever the
need arose. In fact, Rex did take advantage of this offer and contacted the
psychiatrist again when the police were conduct-ing raids on P I E members.
Asked
if there was anything else he would like to add, Rex offered the opinion that
size, in this case the child’s, was not a crucial element in the attraction.
He felt that if the individual was six feet tall and yet pubescent he would
still be attractive to a paedophile. It is the nature of the child that is
important. When Rex was asked if he had any idea why he had become a
paedophile, he said that his childhood was somewhat deprived in that he did
not share in the usual activities of adolescent development that might be
experienced in youth clubs or similar organisations. As a consequence of this
he feels he did not develop along the usual lines of sexual growth.
The
proposition was then put to Rex that children do not know what is good for
them and that they are not capable of making appropriate moral judgements. His
reply was to the effect that children are very capable of making decisions
about their welfare in general and this extends into the realm of sexuality.
What is crucial is that any sexual act they are involved in should be done
voluntarily as this ‘is part of learning, part of experience, part of
experiencing things about their body, about what they are, about their
personality. It may not be socially acceptable, but that’s another story
altogether.’ Children are described as being amoral in that they do what
they think they can get away with. Children know instinctively what is good
for them, and therefore a paedophilic relationship is hardly likely to be
psychologically damaging. The child must be respected and allowed to take any
initiative he wants to. Rex views the child as a person rather than a ‘mere
child’ and the paedophilic relationship as a two-way situation with both
parties contributing and benefiting.
S12: ‘Adam’:
When
Adam was initially contacted to arrange the interview the telephone was
answered by a young boy whom he described as one of his young friends. During
the call I heard another boy in the background and Adam interrupted our
conversation several times to talk to them. He was unable to be interviewed on
a Wednesday evening, as I first suggested, because he had ‘a young friend
who stayed over that night’, so we arranged the interview for Wednesday
afternoon. Later he phoned to change this arrangement, saying he had forgotten
that it was term break and he had promised to take the ‘kids’ out for the
day. Subsequently, he called again to say that Wednesday afternoon would be
suitable after all, since one of the children was sick and the other was being
disciplined. Through these interactions it seemed to me that Adam was an
active and ‘successful’ paedophile and that he was very keen to be
interviewed about it.
Adam
came to the interview from work and was wearing a badge on his jacket lapel
which proclaimed the desire of a charity organisation to ‘make children
happy’. He was extremely relaxed throughout the interview and willing to
discuss all aspects of his life as a paedophile. He sees himself as a
committed exponent of the paedophilic lifestyle and accepts that his next
conviction, which will be his fifth, will result in him being imprisoned for a
long period. That this will eventually happen he feels is inevitable. He seems
to be extremely happy in his present circumstances, expresses no desire to
change and indicates that he could not imagine his life being other than as he
experiences it. His enthusiasm for paedophilia is somewhat overwhelming.
Adam
initially indicated that he was exclusively homosexual in his paedophilic
interests. Sometimes he has sexual fantasies concerning young girls but it
does not go beyond this. The age range that he finds ideal is 10-14 years with
11 being the optimum, although ‘I can take boys at ten because then you can
build a relationship with them over a period of time’. Eleven is described
as ‘a magical age’. ‘Most boys are either well-advanced at eleven (the
ones I’m interested in) or if they’re slow starters, by the time they are
eleven they know enough to make the relationship interesting for both of us.
To me, boys have got to respond to what I give them.
With
respect to the psychological qualities of children that he finds attractive
Adam says: ‘It is difficult to explain. With children - with boys - I can
talk easily. I can talk to them at their own level. I can boss them. I can be
bossed by them. I can be part of them and they can be part of me. But with
older people I just can’t communicate. I can talk to you here about this. I’ve
had relationships with gays, but my only topic of conversation has been boys.
. . . I just like talking about boys.’ Adam feels that he is on the level of
the child.
When
it comes to physical qualities, Adam admits that, although some children might
be physically unattractive to him, he might have sex with them anyway as ‘you
don’t have your ideals all the time’. The opposite may also be true, that
a physically attractive child might not be sexually attractive. Specific
features that he finds attractive are two large front teeth, a small nose and
short hair. Body hair is disliked and once a boy reaches puberty and starts to
grow body hair sex is no longer of great interest, although the relationship
will continue. In this context Adam described a relationship that continued as
a friendship until the boy was eighteen. ‘My interest in him sexually had
died. He would perhaps want sex now and again but it would be up to him to
decide when he wanted it. I wouldn’t be any longer chasing him for a sexual
relation-ship. . . . If he were younger, ten, eleven, twelve, thirteen, then I’m
hunting him all the time.’
Referring
again to body hair, Adam said that he finds it ‘obnoxious and horrible’.
Even the contemplation of it ‘is pretty grim’. He has had drugs in the
past that have stopped hair growing on his body and it is only recently that
it has begun to grow again, which he does not find appealing.
An
unbroken voice is another important marker of an attractive boy. ‘Kids whose
voices haven’t broken and have no body hair, they’re terrific.’ When the
suggestion was made that these qualities are attractive because they make a
boy more like a girl, Adam countered by maintaining that he doesn’t like
boys to look feminine, as might happen with long hair. ‘I don’t like it,
they look like girls. I like boys to look like boys. The tougher they are, the
more masculine they are, the better I like them.’
The
possibility of having sex with adult women was raised and Adam indicated that
it would mean nothing to him. In fact, he is not sure that he could obtain an
erection in order to have sex with a woman. A young girl might be more
attractive to him, although penetration would seem unlikely. His only
hetero-sexual experience was with his sister when he was about thirteen and
she was eight. He sees himself as having been paedophilic since he was
fourteen or fifteen. He is now thirty-nine. He has had homosexual
relationships with adults, although these are described as being the
consequence of friendship which has gone to sex in order to maintain the
friendship. He has not derived much satisfaction from sex under these
conditions.
Adam
lived at home with his parents until he was thirty-eight, and only moved the
previous year. He describes his mother as being domineering and interfering in
all aspects of his life. His paedophilia was a separate little world I kept
well away from my parents’. Adam has had four convictions for paedophilia,
the last being in 1973. After this last one he received a letter from his
mother which indicated that a further conviction would ‘probably kill them
both’. For about five years he limited his paedophilic relationships, which
he found difficult, until he moved out of home to ‘break away from all this
domineering of my mother’. His mother wrote him a letter because she was
unable to discuss sex, and specifically his paedophilic interests, with him in
person. His father is described as being quiet, mild and gentle and ‘he
never swore’. The impression was that he was very much dominated by the
mother. Returning to his mother, Adam described her as a disciplinarian who
dominated his life, bossing him and being ‘very hard’ on him. In spite of
this he says that he loves his mother because of her domineering qualities and
because she has worked very hard and ‘has really done something with her
life’. His father is described as a ‘ghost’ who just wasn’t there. He
apparently shared very little with his father as he grew up and their
relationship seems to have been quite minimal. Sex was a topic that they never
discussed and he appeared to be embarrassed by the subject. He says he has ‘never
really known his sister’. She is now married, and when she last visited the
parental home at Christmas Adam’s mother accused him of getting too close to
her children and indicated that he should not come again the next year.
Following his last conviction his sister had written him a letter stating that
she did not want to hear any more of him and that she no longer considered him
a member of the family.
Adam’s
first conviction resulted in six months’ probation, a fine and voluntary
treatment. The second involved a three-month prison sentence which was altered
on appeal to twelve months’ voluntary treatment and a fine. On his third
conviction he was committed to a hospital for twelve months, following which
he was treated as an outpatient for fifteen years. Over this time he was on a
drug programme, Stilbestral for twelve years and Androcur more recently. About
six months ago he stopped taking these drugs and feels much better for it. He
has also stopped seeing the psychiatrist who has been treating him for many
years and now attends the Albany Trust where he receives counselling which he
believes to be beneficial. In the past, he admits, he submitted to psychiatric
care, not because he wanted to change his behaviour, but rather as a back-up
when, and if, he was brought before the courts for paedophilic activity. He
stopped the sessions with the psychiatrist, whom he saw every six weeks, in
1978. The counsellor he currently sees is concerned about his having sex with
boys, although he seems to accept that Adam will remain a paedophile and will
never develop normal sexual interests. Adam’s stated purpose in attending
the sessions every two weeks is to make his relationships as a paedophile more
satisfying and ‘better for the kids as well’. ‘I have faults, I know. I
hound them too often. I have a very high sex drive and I have great difficulty
in satisfying that sex drive.’
Adam
revealed that at the present time he is involved with one boy who stays at his
house two or three nights a week. At present he prefers to be involved
sexually with one boy at a time, although other boys may be around his home.
He feels this is necessary for the proper development of the relationship.
When it was put to him that it must be very apparent to the neighbours that a
large number of children frequent his house, Adam described a ‘Junior Club’
he runs that attracts children to his place. ‘A lot of the parents know that
the kids sleep there at night-time; a lot of other people do as well. It doesn’t
bother me. One of these days I’m going to be caught and I’m making the
best of it while I can.’ He seems to have accepted that he will eventually
be convicted again. ‘I think it quite likely that with my past convictions I
will be sent to Broadmoor and I will probably get ten years.’ He admits he
is very indiscreet in his enthusiasm for paedophilia. ‘I came out last year
and ever since I’ve come out I’ve had this horrible tendency to talk to
anybody and everybody about paedophilia, about boys, about kids, about me,
about my relationships with them. . . I don’t know why. For thirty-eight
years I had it locked up in a little world of my own.
Asked
if a paedophile might be involved with children only on an emotional level
rather than sexually, Adam said that although this might be adequate for some
it would not do for him. ‘I am an extravert, I get out... I go out and find
boys. I mean there are thousands of kids all over London just waiting for an
adult to come along and say, “Hello, hold my hand, let’s go for a walk. .
. .“ Kids want adults, kids want to have a relationship with an older
person. Whether it’s sex or anything else they don’t really mind as long
as they can have an adult they can turn to, somebody they can confess to.’
Although Adam claims to be intensively involved with one boy only, he gives
the impression of grooming several others, and sometimes does have sex with
them. Nevertheless, much of his activity with children would appear to be
non-sexual in motivation and intended to make children happy or assist in
their development. ‘If you just want sex with a kid then I don’t think you’re
a paedophile. I like to think of myself as a person who could help kids grow
up ... a teacher, a mentor, someone he can come to for advice. A person who
just wants sex with kids I regard them, I’m afraid, as “dirty old men”.
All my kids have one word they can use with me, “no”, and if they say “no”,
that’s it, and they know this. They can use the veto if they want to.’
At
this point Adam described the circumstances surrounding his third conviction
which occurred when he was a youth leader involved in taking children on
camping weekends. He admits to having had active sex with nineteen boys in
this context, including ‘deep relationships’ with five of them. He slept
with two of these boys in their own homes in circumstances in which it
appeared that the mothers were aware of the situation and did not object. In
the case of the boy he is currently involved with it appears that the mother
is aware that he stays at Adam’s house and again she does not appear to
object: ‘If the parents know that you are having this relationship, they
say, well, they know it’s not a good thing, but we will do more harm to him
if we break it up.’ He went on to describe a situation in 1963 in which a
mother seemed to support his relationship with her boy. She allowed him to
sleep in the boy’s room when he visited and would leave him in the house
with the boy until very late at night while she and her husband went out. He
is very sure that the mother of the boy he is currently involved with knows
that he is a paedophile.
Asked
what kind of relationships he has had with boys, Adam replied: ‘I have tried
everything. I really leave it to the boy to decide what he wants. In 1964
there must have been seven boys that I was actively having sex with. Each one
of these seven wanted it a different way. . . . One wanted anal intercourse
with me, several of them were quite happy to have 69, several only wanted
mutual masturbation, others were more into kissing and fondling. I left it
more to the child to develop his sexual preference. I was quite happy to
follow along because anything sexually with a child I’m happy with.’ Adam
claims that when he is involved with a particular boy he would be hesitant to
go outside of the relationship to have sex with another boy, although he might
nevertheless do so if he felt the situation was appropriate. He says it is
very easy to know when a child is leaning towards a sexual contact,
particularly through bodily contact. If the child shies away then it is clear
that he does not want any further involvement and Adam thinks that this is as
far as things should go.
Discussing
the role of fantasy in his sex life Adam describes his fantasies as images
which he can conjure up and which relate to a very specific incident with a
boy. The physical qualities of the boy are remembered in great detail. Adam
believes he can do this with all the boys he has had relationships with. He
describes it as a reliving of the experience. However, he much prefers the ‘reality’
of the experience to the subsequent fantasy. While he was taking drugs Adam
found that he very frequently had sexual dreams about boys but the frequency
has decreased since he has stopped taking them.
It
was noted that Adam has accepted the likelihood that he will be arrested for
his paedophilic behaviour at some time. However, he admits: ‘I do worry
about it.’ When something happens between him and one of the boys, or they
are being punished by their parents, he worries that they may say something
that will result in trouble for him. He says he has indicated to the boys that
if they feel they have to confide in their parents he would never hold this
against them. What he does ask them is that they should never talk to the
police, but rather let their parents go to the police if necessary. The police
are described as ‘very awkward people who don’t like paedophiles’.
Apparently his flat was raided by the police as part of an investigation of P
I B members. A recent murder of a child was discussed in the context that it
creates a tremendous strain in the paedophile fraternity. Adam declares that
this is not in line with the paedophile ideal since paedophiles are people who
love children and the person who committed such an act does not belong in this
group.
Adam
characterises himself as having been something of a predator prior to his
moving out of his parents’ home and developing his present relationship. He
used to travel around visiting places where children might be found, including
‘cottages’. However, he emphasises that when a child indicated that he did
not want any involvement with him he would accept this and not pursue the
child any further. Some men, he thinks, may be unable to stop themselves when
the child indicates that he does not want to continue and may become violent
with the boy at this point. When asked how many boys he thinks he has been
involved with Adam estimated that he has been involved in 490 incidents with
about 180 boys since he realised he was a paedophile. He says he is completely
happy with his lifestyle and has no desire to change. ‘I would hate to be
anything else; I wouldn’t want to be cured.’
Adam
went on to discuss some of his experiences in prison. He feels himself
fortunate in not having been harassed by prisoners and although treatments
like aversion therapy and implants were discussed in his case, such therapies
were never imposed upon him. He also described in more detail some of his ‘cottage’
relationships in which he would meet particular boys regularly in certain
public lavatories. He discussed in more detail how one of these relationships
developed with a boy whom he considers the best boy I have met . . . the sex
we had together was everything’. He eventually ended up going home with this
boy to meet his parents. He now feels it is too dangerous to attempt to pick
up a boy in this manner and that a better place is the swimming baths. He
identifies the crucial factor in meeting a boy as the ability to speak to the
child. If you cannot do this then he feels it will always be very difficult to
develop a relationship.
When
asked if there was anything else he would like to contribute to the interview
Adam said he would like to see P1 B more as an organisation that has the needs
of children at heart and that it should be less sexual in its orientation. An
effort should be made to de-emphasise the nature of the paedophile as one who
has sex with children and to promote his image as a lover of children: ‘people
who are interested in children as children’. The right of a child to have
sex with an adult should be recognised in conjunction with their right to say
no if they wish. ‘It’s children-adult relationships.’ When the issue of
the vulnerability of the child was raised Adam agreed that young boys aged ten
may not know what they want in a relationship and should not be forced if they
are not willing. He admits to having pushed one of the boys who currently
visits him towards sex before the boy was ready, so that he had to stop this
aspect of the relationship.
Adam
then returned to a discussion of the rules that exist between him and his boys
concerning what either may or may not do and what he describes as ‘the veto’.
He produced a copy of the rules operating between him and the boy he is
currently most involved with. The first of these is ‘You can never touch me
-
only if I say so’. The second: ‘Whenever I sleep I take turns; one night I
sleep in the spare bed and one night in your bed’. The
third:
‘You must spend at least 20 pence a week on us’. Another rule, which had
been crossed out, was ‘You must let me have one fag when I go to bed’.
More than rules, these seem to be conditions which exist between Adam and the
boy, and which have been laid down mainly by the latter.
At
this point Adam produced a large amount of material which was his ‘research’
on paedophilia in the area. He appears to have investigated through local
newspapers the incidence of child assaults in the South London area in order
to look for patterns, e.g. geographical or sibling involvement. One of his
conclusions is that the men involved in paedophilic relationships move away
from the area, particularly if they have been convicted, whereas the boys
continue to live and grow up in the same area. During this presentation of his
‘data’, Adam revealed that as a boy he had been involved with a number of
men, the first three being one-off sexual experiences, including anal
inter-course with his uncle. He had also had a much longer relationship which
he found very satisfying even though it was non-sexual. He feels that his
paedophilic interests were already developed even at this young age, as he had
numerous sexual relationships with other boys that he enjoyed very much.
Adam
thinks that the cause of his paedophilia may lie in the absence of his father,
who was involved in military service during these early years. It is his
experience among the boys he has been involved with that those who enjoy sex
with a man often do not have a strong father, whereas boys who have a good
relationship with their father do not appear to derive as much satisfaction
from the sexual relationship. Of the approximately 180 boys that he has been
involved with, Adam thinks that only about two have developed a homosexual
lifestyle. This belief is based on evidence obtained by following many of them
up through different registries. He maintains that the aspect of ‘sharing
and giving’ developed in a paedophilic relationship may enhance a male’s
ability to function in a heterosexual relationship when that occurs in later
life.
S19: ‘William’:
William
was interviewed in the house where he rents a room. In his mid-fifties, he is
of stout build and has a white beard. Having been convicted for being a
paedophile, he showed no hesitation in talking about his situation as he said
he has nothing to hide. He gave the impression of a man who is saddened by his
current circumstances and whose abilities were being wasted. Once apparently a
good teacher, he is now limited to tutoring private students. Since his
conviction his life has changed completely and he appears to be a very lonely
and isolated individual.
Initially
the interview focused on William’s life as a teacher. Both his parents were
teachers and he followed them into the profession; as a result his life has
been ‘among children’. His involvement with P I B occurred only recently.
He discovered his interest in children ‘I suppose in the course of my work,
especially when I went to teach in boarding school, where one isn’t just
teaching children, one’s living with them. I was a family man, I had three
children. That in itself made me see what children are made of, what they are
all about, and how they work really. And then my marriage broke up and I
rather threw myself into this boarding school job, perhaps to forget the
recent pain of my situation. I became 100 per cent involved in the school.’
As far as he is aware his affection for children did not contribute to his
marriage breaking up as ‘nothing actually occurred beforehand’.
The
children that most appeal to William are those around twelve years of age, ‘round
about the time when they become reasonable human beings and you can talk with
them’. His personal relationships with children came through his work as a
teacher. He has only had one relationship which became sexual. ‘It was in
fact a love affair’ with a child at the school where he taught. It lasted
for a year until it was discovered by the child’s father who was a judge.
This ended his career as a teacher although not as a tutor; ‘under the
peculiar laws of this country one’s allowed to tutor privately, individually
in children s own homes, yet they won’t allow me to teach in a class of
forty screaming kids’.
This
relationship occurred seven years after the break-up of his marriage: ‘I
suppose my life was missing something.’ The school where he was teaching was
in the country and very isolated; there were few females around with whom he
could socialise. ‘I suppose that being a susceptible person to this kind of
thing, as I probably am, this was likely to happen eventually, and it did
happen.’ The relationship was seen by William as also fulfilling for the
boy, who was the son of elderly parents who lived in Africa, and with whom he
did not get on very well. He is described as ‘simply missing any kind of
family life’. He was a loner who did not get on well with his friends, which
is seen as another reason ‘why he turned to me’. ‘Well, I say it came
from him, but in fact I’m quite sure he wouldn’t have attempted anything
if he hadn’t been fairly sure that a response would be forthcoming. It is
very hard to say how a thing like this starts. It grows. I had known him for
four years before anything like this happened at all.’ William and the boy
had shared a close relationship which grew out of their mutual interest in
music. The father was not supportive of the boy’s musical interests. ‘There
were lots of other boys like him, but this is the only one where this other
thing, this extra element, entered.’
After
a year the relationship was discovered and a court case ensued. William was
only fined as he received ‘fantastic backing from other members of the
staff, little boys and parents, who all came to speak up for me in the court’.
As a consequence of his conviction William was debarred from teaching by the
Ministry of Education. He expressed great concern about the boy who ‘must
have felt terribly guilty about the whole thing’. Not being able to see the
boy after the incident was very hard for William. In fact, he did sneak into
the school one night to talk to the boy about what had happened. Although he
realised this was some-what foolish, he wanted to make sure that the boy was
all right.
After
being banned from teaching in schools he returned to university for a year
(financed by a former headmistress), but did not enjoy this and stopped. In
the next year he turned his car into a mini-cab which he drove for one year.
Gradually he took on tutoring and at present has approximately forty students.
The relationship mentioned above is the only sexual experience William has had
with a child. With respect to the children he now coaches he says: ‘I am
frequently very much attracted to them, although I wouldn’t let anything
happen obviously because of the possible consequences.’ He acknowledges that
he might be involved with a child again. ‘I wouldn’t say it’s
impossible; it could happen. I only hope for my sake it doesn’t, because one
can’t always control these things no matter how hard one tries.
William
is very critical of the law as it exists at present because it does not
distinguish between paedophilia and child molesting. Tradition, particularly
Christianity, is blamed for producing this taboo. William’s opinions
regarding the issue of the age of consent formed the basis of a letter
published in Forum magazine. He believes that if anyone abuses a child or any
person the laws are there to deal with the situation and there need not be
special laws to deal with children. The age of consent should be abolished.
Abuse of children might well be dealt with more severely as far as William is
concerned. ‘I think the whole thing about sex with children has been built
up in the image of adult sex. However, sex with children is very much simpler
and it can be more on the surface, it needn’t be such a soul-searing
operation as it is with grown-ups. It can just be physical, but obviously it
wouldn’t happen at all if there wasn’t a mental bond between the people
taking part. I think there is a great gap which has been put between sexuality
and anything else, which is unnatural. It is simply an extension of friendship
in one particular direction. It’s just another way a friendship can go.’
In his own case, William would admit to having had many deep relationships
with children in which sex did not ensue, although if it had seemed natural
then he states: ‘I can see no reason why it shouldn’t take place,
providing the child knows. This probably happened in my own case. One’s
really got to put the child wise as to the difference between one’s own
views on the subject and the world’s view, which is very different. That’s
an enormous difficulty.’ Even if the age of consent were lowered William
believes there would still be tremendous prejudice against paedophilia just as
there is with respect to homosexuality, despite changes in the law. According
to William, the impact of a paedophilic relation-ship on a child would depend
partly upon what the child had been told by his school-friends, partly on how
much he could accept of what the adult told him, and how he could adjust to
this in the context of what his parents had told him. In most cases the
relationship would not work because the child would be under too much external
pressure. At this point William focused on the rights of the parents when a
child is being influenced by an adult. He states: ‘I really think that the
parents should have rights in this matter. It may seem strange my saying so,
but I think they should because I’ve been a parent myself. In fact, it very
nearly happened with one of my sons. He followed my footsteps; both he and I
were choristers in the same cathedral. It has a very small boarding school and
one of the choirmen rather took a fancy to him at one point. My wife was very
upset. I went down to see him. . . . Parents should have a right over what
their children do to a certain extent. I think they’ve got a bigger right
than the police.’ In William’s case, the father of the boy he was involved
with requested the police not to prosecute, though they still chose to do so.
With
respect to the possible long-term consequences of a paedophilic relationship,
William began by describing his own relationship. ‘I was very careful to
tell this particular boy just what I considered the long-term effects to be, I
said that I regarded being homosexual as a natural stage through which most
children went. Some boys become fond of girls at a very early age, but I think
most children go through a homosexual stage simply because the other person is
like themselves. Sexuality is usually in three stages: first with themselves
and then with another person who’s like themselves and then eventually
graduating to the other sex. Personally, I believe that if a particular child
is oriented in this way a proper homosexual relationship like this will, in
fact, help him later on. It will help him relate. After all, he will know much
more about it - he’s been made love to by another male and he will have a
lot more knowledge about what his wife or girlfriend is going to feel. The
phase of homosexuality is a natural part of life.’
Fantasy
now plays a very important role in William’s sex life. He finds a number of
his pupils very attractive but has decided ‘it is much safer to fantasise’.
However, he finds this outlet less than totally fulfilling. At the present
time William’s social life is very limited as he has to work seven days a
week in order to make a living. He admits to using fantasy about young boys
most evenings. After his wife left him (for her psychiatrist whom she has
since married), he said he went on having sexual fantasies about her for
years. This he describes as his last deep relationship. He and his wife are
still good friends and she apparently feels some guilt over what has happened
to William, believing that he would not have got into trouble had she not left
him. On his part he attempts to allay her concern by taking the position that
his paedophilic interests were probably latent and would have surfaced in time
anyway. William considers the desire to be latent in most people to some
degree but is suppressed because it is considered to be wrong. When his
relationship with the boy developed he felt elation similar to that which he
experienced in his relationship with his wife. In the future he could see
himself being involved in a heterosexual relationship. The opportunity had
arisen in the recent past but he did not find himself attracted to the women
in question. At present, his fantasies are mainly, although not entirely,
homosexual.
In
his tutoring of children William seeks to develop deep relationships. These
are not sexual, although he describes how the use of touch, just a minimal
physical contact, can be effective in making a child ‘open up’. He sees
this as something which children enjoy and frequently do not experience even
from their own parents. However, ‘sex doesn’t enter my head at all’. The
only time that sex would be involved would be in fantasies, but these do not
occur when he is with the children, rather when he is alone.
Discussing
the attractiveness of children and considering whether a paedophilic
relationship could continue into an adult homosexual relationship, William
thought this unlikely because at a certain age children ‘become men’. They
develop body hair and their voice changes and they thus cease to be physically
attractive. ‘Teenage boys tend to look and feel a bit more like women than
men do, so from that point of view it is less likely to happen - unless one is
an out and out homosexual.’ Although the physical attractiveness of the
child fades, the friendship should still remain. William’s parents were
elderly when he was born, his mother being forty-four and his father
sixty-two. He feels this may have something to do with his current situation.
He was sent to boarding school at an early age where he had his first sexual
experiences with other boys. He feels that he only got to know his mother when
he was an adult.
William
saw a psychiatrist twice in connection with his paedophilia but this was only
on the advice of his solicitor who thought that if he was in therapy it might
help him in court. He himself did not find it beneficial in any way and he has
not sought any help since then.
He
originally joined P1 B so that he might communicate with others who shared the
same interests. He did make some worthwhile contacts through the organisation
although he doubts that it will survive. He is currently writing a book which
describes his own situation.
William
describes paedophilia as one of the ways that a child can learn to live
outside of his family. In his opinion it will take many years for first the
law and then public opinion to change. He believes that paedophilia will be
the last of the taboos to go, ‘even beyond incest’.
S35: ‘Eric’
Eric
is in his early thirties and is extremely youthful in appearance. He is very
knowledgeable on the topic of paedophilia having done extensive research on
the subject. He displayed no hesitation in discussing his interests and we
were left with the impression of an extremely sensitive individual who,
although satisfied with his lifestyle, is disturbed by the censure he receives
from society.
Eric
indicated that both young boys and young girls were attractive to him but it
became clear that the homosexual interest was predominant. ‘Right from the
age of ten I’ve realised that I was interested in other ten-year-olds
physically, just boys at that stage - not girls at all. I continued through
ages eleven, twelve, and thirteen to be interested in boys my own age, and
then at about fifteen or sixteen I began to realise that I was no longer
interested in my peers; I was still interested in those younger ones - twelve,
eleven and ten. The nature of the feeling began to seem different to me then
as well. I began to be much more affectionate towards these little boys,
whereas it had been a sort of rough horse-play thing with lads my age, a thing
between equals if you like. It was still only with boys; I never thought about
girls at all at the age of fifteen or sixteen, or even up through university
days.’ It was only when he saw ‘little girl mags’ that he felt any
attraction towards girls, although he has never felt the desire to be involved
with adult women.
Whereas
he has always wanted to have relationships with little boys this has not been
the case with females. It appeared that little girls serve as a sexual
stimulus when they look like little boys, e.g. in jeans rather than a dress.
‘For me there is a whole lot of meaning invested, in a fetishistic sense I
suppose, just in seeing a pair of boy’s shorts or a school cap, or even a
chopper bicycle. I’m almost erotically stimulated by a chopper bicycle,
which takes a bit of doing, but not by girls’ things left around; they don’t
do anything at all. I’m not very keen on dresses, but to see a little girl
in blue jeans, looking not very different from a little boy, that’s more of
a turn-on. I suppose I like boyish-looking little girls.’ Any similarity
between a little girl and an older woman is seen as making the former less
attractive. However, he was concerned not to give the impression that there is
hostility on his part towards young girls. In his career as a teacher he felt
he got along very well with the girls in his class and thought they were fond
of him.
When
questioned about the age range that he finds attractive, which was given as
2-14 on the questionnaire, Eric responded by focusing on the obvious issue
that two might seem extremely young to most people. With respect to the
possibility that he might be turned on sexually by a person of such a young
age he states: ‘I, for whatever reason, am not turned on by the idea of
sexual penetration. I don’t think I would be very good at it, I certainly
have never been very good at it with adult women. I don’t find it
particularly satisfying, and where boys are concerned I’ve never been turned
on by the idea of anal intercourse. It just doesn’t grab me at all.
Similarly with girls, coitus at any age doesn’t seem particularly
attractive, so there’s no question of me being interested in screwing
two-year-old girls or anything silly like that. On the other hand, I do feel a
touching, caressing type of attraction to really young children, certainly. I
conceive of it as almost a parental type of attraction rather than that
between lovers.’ An eleven-year-old boy would be responded to in different
ways to a two-year-old boy, as the former would be assumed to be more
sexualised (i.e. erections and masturbation). The idea that a person might be
sexually arousable is, in itself, a turn-on. Since children will not be active
sexually until perhaps nine years of age, children under this age are seen as
less of a sexual object.
The
physical attractiveness of children is the aspect that is of primary concern
to Eric. However, ‘if you are sexually drawn to somebody then it has a
spin-off effect, inducing you to think of all sorts of other things.’ These
would be the psychological qualities of the child. In Eric’s case, then, the
process is very much a progression from physical, sexual attraction towards
psychological involvement.
The
physical changes associated with puberty are seen as a turn-off. In his own
life Eric has not had a relationship that has been sustained for such a long
period that he has become aware of the onset of puberty. ‘Paedophiles rarely
have the luxury of a relationship which continues uninterrupted by outside
factors over a long time, and it hasn’t happened to me.’ He would expect
that a boy would be most attractive sexually prior to puberty and this would
diminish at puberty. There would be a gradual tailing-off of physical
attachment, although an emotional relationship would continue.
In
his questionnaire Eric had indicated that, in his experience, children often
need affection and that in that sense the role of the paedophile is somewhat
paternalistic - providing what the child wants. He admits, however, that ‘the
paedophile may some-times want to see it that way a bit too much. In his own
wish to be wanted he projects that kind of thing on to the child - that they
need it when possibly they don’t’. In his own experience he has had a
relationship with a child who appeared to have a good relationship with his
parents, receiving plenty of attention from them. Yet, at the same time, Eric
felt that the boy was attracted to him and enjoyed spending time with him.
Thus he conceded that it is not always deprived children who become involved
with paedophiles.
With
respect to the possibility of having sex with adult women Eric recounted how
at the age of seventeen he became concerned that he was not developing an
interest in girls and sought medical advice. It was not that he wanted to be
less interested in boys, just to be more interested in girls. The doctor’s
advice was ‘to go away and practise’. After having a number of girlfriends
with whom he was involved sexually it was his conclusion that he did not enjoy
the experience and gave it up. Adult men have even less attraction for him
than do women, although ‘they are both so low on the scale of attractiveness
that there is little to choose between them’. His sexual interests appear to
be exclusively paedophilic.
In
discussing his parents, Eric described his mother as the one he was closest
to. Their relationship was an affectionate one. He describes her as the ‘classic
type of mother figure that is associated with homosexuality’. In describing
his father he claimed ‘a great admiration and regard’ for him. However, he
could never remember his father being affectionate towards his mother and he
was aware that they slept in separate beds. He feels this may have something
to do with his own sexual orientation, as there were never any conventional
models for him. His parents did not discuss sex with him and seemed
embarrassed by the kind of scenes one would see occasionally on the TV. His
brother was described as having been a great influence in his life as he was
‘aggressive, overbearing, clever, strong, all the sorts of things I wasn’t....
I modelled myself on him.’ Although his brother did not appear to have any
girlfriends until he was nineteen, he would seem to have developed
heterosexually.
Eric’s
first experience of sex was masturbation, using as a stimulus the images of
naked boys. This began around the age of ten or eleven. As a boy he was
involved with other boys in mutual sexual exploration. When he began teaching
at the age of eighteen, he was concerned about his ability to remain detached
from the young children in his classes. However, he was able to avoid any
relationships and subsequently went to university. During this period he was
not sexually active in any way. Upon finishing his degree he went back into
teaching, but this time he found it more difficult because the desire to make
sexual contact with children seemed stronger. Although he got along well with
the children socially, he found himself very inhibited in speaking to them in
any way about sex. This he attributed, in part, to how he felt he would have
reacted as a child if an adult had discussed sex with him. He had never had a
sexual relationship with an adult when he was a boy and felt, at the time,
that most children would consider such an event quite distasteful. Gradually,
through reading about other cultures and particularly as the consequence of a
trip to North Africa, he found he has become more relaxed in discussing sex
with children, although some inhibitions still remain.
Eric’s
inability to get close to children has been very difficult for him. At the age
of nineteen he became involved with women partly because of a desire to be a
‘Dad’ and have his own children. He describes very strong ‘maternal/paternal’
feelings. At this stage of his life loneliness is less of a problem as he has
been able to express his views through P1 E in a way that has given him a
great deal of satisfaction. Because of the difficulty he experiences in
getting close to children physically, fantasy now plays an important role in
his sex life. ‘I’ve got to the stage where I’m virtually reconciled to
my sexual life being conducted on a fantasy level, but I’ve accommodated and
don’t worry about it that much. I don’t get desperate or suicidal, as I
once did, partly because I have had one or two relationships which have been
very rewarding.’
At
present, Eric has no desire to change his sexual orientation, although he
admits ‘there may be something irrational there’. ‘My sexual orientation
has something very sort of basic and physically crude about it. Well that’s
fine, I’m neither proud nor ashamed of that. It just is. But apart from
that, I feel very fortunate in perceiving something about children that other
people don’t see; I mean on an aesthetic level.’
In
answer to the argument that children don’t know what is good for them, Eric
stressed two points. Firstly, he maintained that no attention is given to the
development process that children go through. A two-year-old, he claimed, is
treated in law the same as a twelve-year-old, yet the latter is obviously
further along developmentally. ‘Children do develop over time and any good
system ought to incorporate that.’ Secondly, he argued that while children
need to be protected from harming themselves by placing certain restrictions
on them (e.g. telling them not to play on the streets) these restrictions
should be kept to a minimum so that the child may grow and gain experience.
The fundamental misconception, he says, is the view that sex is a dangerous
thing against which children need to be protected. ‘I don’t think it is.
The kind of sexual behaviour I have in mind (masturbation, kissing, caressing,
cuddling, oral licking and so on) is perfectly harmless. I don’t think a
rational capacity needs to be developed in order for a child to say, “Well
that may not do me any good.” It won’t do any harm anyway. When it comes
to penetrative sex and physiological capacities and so on, there I think
people have a point, and it’s a pity that the two issues get confused.’
Eric believes that boys involved in homosexual relationships with men still
tend to grow up in a conventional way, usually becoming heterosexual in their
orientation.
To
Eric, the paedophilic relationship is one based on attraction rather than
hostility and therefore the idea of engaging in violence towards a child is
seen as undesirable. It is a matter of definition. ‘If you define
paedophilia as sexual involvement with a child regardless of whether or not it
is based on love, you could then classify many brutal, sadistic, murderous
acts as paedophilia, but I don’t think the term warrants that.’ In Eric’s
view the term should be reserved for affectionate contacts.
Eric
is not contemplating any treatment for his sexual preference because he does
not want to change and he is not impressed with the position that
psychotherapists take on paedophilia.
543:
‘John’
On
his initial questionnaire John had indicated that he would not be available
for an interview as his circumstances did not allow for the possibility of
contacting him. However, following an interview given by a friend of his, he
did make contact and an appointment was arranged. He was very relaxed
throughout the interview and seemed completely at ease in discussing his
situation. John is twenty-eight years old, small in stature, with
shoulder-length hair and a beard. He indicated initially that his preference
in children is exclusively homosexual, specifically boys between 10-15 years
of age with ‘thirteen as a peak’. However, this could vary in individual
cases. ‘If you were to line say ten kids up, the ones that would be most
attractive would be the ones at puberty.’ An older boy would be attractive
only if he had ‘the body and looks of a younger kid’.
Asked
about the characteristics of boys that attract him John stated: ‘I think I
can really sum it up in one word. It may seem difficult to a lot of people to
understand, it’s just “beauty”. It’s something unique about a kid; a
sort of physical beauty of that particular type of being.’ Lack of facial
hair, the right shape -not fat or too skinny - are, according to John,
important physical variables. When asked to describe the ideal
thirteen-year-old boy, John indicated that he would be blond, probably
blue-eyed, have longish hair, not fat, well-shaped, not too tall or too short
and have no facial hair.
It
was noted that John had a beard. He indicated that the importance of not
having facial hair is specific to children. A beard on a man was irrelevant;
it didn’t matter one way or the other.
Psychologically,
the innocence of the child is important. ‘I like to feel that I can develop
the personality of a kid, if I’m involved in a relationship. I like to try
and bring out the qualities I believe in, in that particular kid. I mean if a
kid hasn’t got those qualities, unless he’s got a really nasty character I
think you can bring it out because a kid is sort of innocent. I think you can
help to develop that kid’s personality and character according to the type
of things you believe in yourself - the honesty and the loyalty and the good
manners. To me that is part of the ‘lob”, if you like, to try and develop
the character of that kid to how you think a reasonable, decent human being
ought to be. . . . These days there is a danger that kids tend to go off on
their own. They tend to have outside influences mainly from kids of their own
age that they get with and I think there is a danger, particularly these days,
that kids tend to go off along the wrong path. When I say the wrong path I
mean what seems to me a decent sort of character - someone who’s going to
fit into the world later on.... Parents don’t really know that much about
their kids and quite often are not interested enough to want to develop the
characters of the kids. In my experience with the few kids I have been
involved with, I feel that at the end of the day I have achieved something and
I can see part of my character in them. If you believe in yourself as regards
what you think is right and a decent human being, there is a sense of
achievement at the end of the day to see those characters coming out in the
kid... You help him to find his level and combine what you consider to be
decent characteristics. I am only talking about basics, honesty, loyalty, good
manners. There are so many kids these days that don’t have a clue how to say
“thank you” or “please”. They demand. I don’t believe in that sort
of thing.’
John’s
sexual history appears to have been exclusively paedophilic. He has no
interest in having sex with an adult. ‘Obviously everyone’s entitled to do
what they want to do as far as I’m concerned, although personally there’s
no appeal at all.’ As an adolescent he did experience some heterosexual
involvement, but he attributes this to circumstances which demanded this type
of behaviour in order to appear normal. In those instances in which women were
attracted to him (which has happened several times in the last few years) he
found it necessary to retreat from any sexual involvement. Paedophilic
interests are traced back to at least the age of eleven. ‘I’ve always been
interested in kids for as long as I can remember.’ Always this interest was
directed at children younger than himself. As he grew older, the age of
children he was interested in tended to remain static at the 10-15 age group.
‘It’s always been there.’ He has never been involved in a relationship
with an adult male, not even as a child.
He
is currently living at home with his stepmother and a mentally retarded
adopted brother. His father died last year. His mother ran off with a lodger
when he was thirteen. Through his father’s remarriage, when he was fifteen,
he acquired two stepsisters. They both have families and he gets along well
with them. He is not sure if they know about his paedophilic interests, but if
they do, it does not seem to affect their relationship. He considers his
mother and father to have been ideal parents, with no apparent marital
problems until the time that his mother left. This came as a great shock to
him. He has not seen her since, although his aunt is in touch with her. He can’t
understand why she did this and thinks she did the wrong thing. He finds his
stepmother difficult to get along with, but then so do the rest of her
relatives. His father is described as a ‘fine chap’. He did not think his
parents knew about his paedophilic interests, although they were aware of an
unsealed letter which he received containing paedophilic material.
John
does not discuss his paedophilic interests with other people because the risk
of non-acceptance is too great. The reaction of others is seen as ‘natural’.
‘I think I would react the same way if I had kids, because it’s a natural
reaction. Many people need time to sit down and look at the facts. It’s very
pleasant if you do meet someone with kids that appears to appreciate the
situation. If they see you getting along well with their kids and the kids
really like you, it’s nice to get parents who are prepared to sort of let
things develop.’
John
then described a relationship he is currently having with a boy whose older
brother he had been involved with previously. ‘The parents must be well
aware of the situation,’ he said. ‘One kid at the moment is head over
heels and won’t leave me alone. They appreciate that, and just take it. They
even consider him as being virtually mine now. The mother is so fantastic
about it and whether she really knows the whole story I don’t know, but she
just seems to accept anything and everything because she is trying to do what’s
best for her kids. I think she realises through what’s happened with another
member of the family that naturally no harm has come to the kid.’
Within
John’s own family sex was never discussed. His initial heterosexual
experience, at the age of eleven, was not distasteful in any way, but was not
followed up because of his paedophilic preference.
Sexual
fantasies do not appear to play an important part in John’s sex life,
although when they are used they are exclusively paedophilic. ‘I might recap
on certain things that happened at school, perhaps, incidents and situations.
It will always be the same type of fantasy, based on the same type of scene.
Over
his life, John has been involved in two major paedophilic relationships - the
two brothers mentioned above. He was involved with the older boy for six
years, starting from when the boy was nine years old. Asked if the
relationship was sexual he said: ‘Oh yes, but not completely. The sexual
aspect of it was not a full sexual relationship, it was as much as either
party wanted. It certainly wasn’t forced. The physical relation-ship ended
when the boy was sixteen, at which time he became interested in girls. That
boy is now twenty-one. John, however, expected that his own interest in the
boy would have declined at about that age anyway. ‘You are expecting a
mutual collapse, a slow collapse.., at that stage. When he became interested
in females, I was very much still interested in him, which was a problem, but
I’m not sexually attracted to him now.’ Although no longer sexually
attracted, John feels that they still get along very well - like they always
did. To that extent, he will always be interested in him.
At
present John is involved with the younger brother of this boy who is now
twelve. This relationship began when the boy was nine years old. There was
about a year’s lapse between the ending of the first and the beginning of
the second relationship. The older boy is aware that John is involved with his
younger brother and seems to encourage it. This is attributed to the deep
relationship that they had.
In
response to the concern expressed by some that a paedophilic relationship will
have a damaging effect on the child, John’s reaction was ‘Rubbish’,
although he did acknowledge that it is a hypothetical question as one cannot
know how the child would have grown up otherwise. ‘Personally, I can only
see that good could have come out of it.’ In his case the boy with whom he
was first involved now appears to have developed normal heterosexual
interests. With respect to the argument that such a child might become
homosexual he feels that such desires are there from birth and as such are not
affected by experience.
John
did not admit to any other paedophilic relationships, not even of a ‘one-off
nature. ‘To my way of thinking if you are involved with someone you’ve got
a duty to that person; it’s a mutual duty.’ He believes there must be
commitment to the relationship on both sides. Problems such as jealousy will
arise and will need to be dealt with. ‘I think that jealousies help to knit
the relationship closer than it was before.’
The
point was raised that in order to satisfy paedophilic interests it might be
necessary to travel abroad to countries where the laws concerning sex between
adults and children are not as strict as they are in England. John expresses
the desire that as much as possible he would hope to be able to continue his
paedophilic lifestyle here in England. When the relationship he is currently
involved in ends, ‘which it inevitably will’, he would look to develop
another relationship here, ‘despite, in my mind, some of our crazy laws’.
Part
of a paedophilic relationship will be the recognition that at some time
relationships will end, at least physically. The paedophile will grow older
while the boys who are found desirable will still be 11—15 years old. ‘I
think one’s just got to be prepared for the end of a relationship. Growing
old does bother me, I must admit. I worry about what I’m going to do the
next time around.’ John is therefore resolved to enjoy the situation as it
exists and to worry about the future when it arrives.
With
respect to his present relationship, John is able to see the boy really as
much as he wants, probably five times a week, as he does so with the family’s
endorsement. ‘I feel that I’ve got a job to do, that’s the way I look at
it. I teach him; I spend no end of hours teaching. His schooling has improved
phenomenally in the last year. Virtually every night when I’m down there I
make him work. His parents have no practical involvement in his schooling; I’ve
taken over all that. I even go up to the school to see the teacher with his
mother. As far as the parents are concerned, they have given that side of it
to me as a responsibility because they can see that I’m genuinely
interested.’ Asked how he and the boy found time to be alone, John replied
that he was fortunate in that the father spends a lot of time out in the
evenings at the pub, while the mother is involved in Bingo and community work.
The older boys in the family are also involved in pub activities while the
daughter has a part-time job in the evening. This leaves the two of them alone
quite frequently in the evenings. ‘When it’s time for him to go to bed
then I’ll go up and talk with him, or he’ll read to me. We get a fair bit
of time together at weekends.’ John appreciates the special and almost ‘ideal’
situation in which he is involved. He feels well protected legally as he doesn’t
believe that the family would ever take action against him. He and the boy’s
mother get along very well. However, he perceives the grandmother as ‘the
sort of woman, unfortunately, who would do something stupid.’ Therefore,
recognising the delicacy of his position, he is at pains to persuade her that
the relationship is ‘concrete and loving’.
If
the legal restrictions against paedophilia were removed in Britain, John
thinks it would make no difference to the relationship he is currently
enjoying. However, it would be expected to influence future relationships. ‘I
can go as far as I want to now. Mutually we do what we want to do. Maybe it’s
illegal, but we do. It just happens, and that’s it. But certainly in other
circumstances, and with other people, and next time round for me, that could
certainly make some difference. It depends on the attitude of the people you
are actually involved with. I mean, parents are so varied. I certainly wouldn’t
do anything the kid didn’t want. Providing the kid was consenting, and
wanted something to take place, then I would do it irrespective of the legal
system. If the child is consenting then I think one finds a way of getting
round the law.’
When
it was put to him that children may not be capable of deciding what is good
for them, particularly with respect to sexual matters, John answered: ‘If a
kid is keen and interested to do a particular thing, then as far as I’m
concerned that’s as near as you can get to not making up the child’s mind
for him. You’re not forcing him into anything. Certainly I don’t. If he
wants to do it (a particular thing or whatever) then that’s fine. If he
doesn’t want to do it, then in his eyes it’s wrong, and OK, that’s fine.
But normally that’s not the case as kids usually are very interested in
experimenting and doing things. . . . If the kid genuinely wants something,
that’s as near as you can get to saying that that’s right for that kid.’
Asked if he believes that children know what they want sexually, he replied:
‘Some certainly. In my former relationship it was the kid himself who was
doing all the prompting. It was he who was taking the initiative. I was
following suit because I wanted to. I don’t think you can generalise. Kids
are very much influenced by adults. I think kids have to be moulded to a
certain extent. . . . The kid’s mind is there to be developed.’
The
thought of using coercion does not appeal to John. For him the sexual aspect
of a relationship comes only after respect has been developed. ‘You have to
be emotionally involved.’
John’s
feelings about being a paedophile are rather mixed. He acknowledges that he
‘would rather have been born as the majority’, because ‘it’s easier to
explain yourself. ‘But having been forced into this situation, I’ve got to
live with it and I’m quite happy. I feel genuinely that I’ve got a job to
do.’
John
does not believe that there is any useful professional treatment for his
condition, and if one did exist, the decision as to whether or not to enter
into it would be very difficult. It would be hard for him to know whether as
much satisfaction as he is currently obtaining could be derived from other
types of relationships. He could not envisage entering into a heterosexual
relationship, except perhaps with a female paedophile.
John
is currently rather fearful of prosecution. The recent police raids were a
difficult time as his name was on the P I E mailing lists. He removed all
incriminating materials from his house in anticipation of a police visit. If
they arrived and were unable to find any concrete evidence he felt he would be
able to maintain his innocence. He has withdrawn from P I E, although he
supports what they are doing.
In
present circumstances John feels he must accept what he has and enjoy it while
he can. ‘Quite what happens in three or four years I don’t know.’ He has
been offered jobs in London that would improve his financial status
considerably but he prefers to stay in his small town so that he can pursue
his present relationship.
S48: ‘Neil’
Neil
is a young man of average build. He came to the interview straight from his
work as a civil servant and was well dressed in a three-piece suit. Although
he seemed rather guarded initially, he loosened up as the interview progressed
and became quite forthcoming concerning his paedophilic interests, such that
the interview lasted for almost two hours. It emerged that he had been
somewhat hesitant about the interview as he thought that perhaps he was being
‘set up’. By the end of the interview he said that he had enjoyed the
opportunity to talk with someone who was neither paedophilic nor condemning of
paedophilia, as was his usual experience.
Asked
about his preferences among children Neil indicated that it would be ‘90 per
cent boys, although I wouldn’t be opposed to the idea of a relationship with
a girl as well’. The age range which is most attractive is 10-18, with the
ideal age being twelve. When asked about the characteristics of children that
he finds attractive, Neil replied, ‘In the first instance it would be their
beauty.’ More specifically, the physical qualities would be the lack of body
hair, the voice and the face (described as being smooth, unmarked and innocent
in appearance). Psycho-logically, innocence and warmth are desirable in a
child. ‘Children catch your affection in a very touching, moving way.’ The
openness and lack of inhibition displayed by children is also enjoyed. ‘One’s
talking about qualities that must disappear once the child matures, so you’re
talking about something very transient.’ In that respect being a paedophile
is admitted to be ‘essentially futile; the more emotionally involved one is
the more one is going to lose. I suppose it is worse than the loss a parent
feels when the child grows up and leaves home.’
Neil
believes that children often enter into relationships because they are seeking
love and affection which are not forthcoming from their parents, although it
may also happen just because they welcome a relationship with another adult. A
paedophilic relationship may fill a need that the child has at that particular
time; it does not necessarily mean that the child is deprived.
Neil
would not rule out the possibility of having sex with an adult over the age of
eighteen. However, when asked if his preference would be for a paedophilic
relationship, he said: ‘My preference would be for a relationship with
somebody who is about twelve, that’s my preference for a relationship. . . .
In terms of sexual relationships it might be just as appropriate to say
someone about eighteen as someone about twelve. If one is talking about a
relationship as a whole then I prefer the younger person.
Neil
describes his parents as having been very strict with him. ‘Sex was never
discussed at all.’ The first time it was mentioned was when his parents
discovered he had a ‘crush’ on a boy at school. Although he argued with
his parents, he says that he got along reasonably well, ‘even after the
upset over the boy at school’. This particular boy was twelve while Neil was
eighteen. This was described as a sentimental rather than a sexual
relationship, but even so his parents were very disturbed by it. They are not
aware of the development of his paedophilic interests since then. With respect
to his schoolboy crush Neil adds: ‘I must point out that the boy himself had
no idea of the strength of my feelings, I felt that it was impossible to tell
him.’
Neil
seemed reluctant to discuss his early sexual experiences as he did not see
them as being relevant to the interview. It appears that his first sexual
experience occurred before he was twelve and involved a girl. He says of it:
‘It doesn’t seem to have had much of an effect. . . there was nothing
fantastic about it.’ Neil indicated on his questionnaire that the
relationships he had had with children were only emotional. This is no longer
true, for one of his long-standing relationships has since turned into a
sexual one.
Asked
to talk about his relationship in more detail, Neil indicated that this was
difficult for him to do in a semiformal situation. He first saw the boy in a
park but was too embarrassed to approach him. He saw him again several weeks
later in the same park and this time the boy approached him. ‘For the first
few months he was just as much interested in my money as a relationship . . .
so at that stage I found it rather a harrowing experience, as he kept on
demanding money.’ When Neil tried
to
stop paying out money the boy decreased the amount of contact they had for
several months. Eventually Neil put him ‘back on the money’ and the boy
began to come around and see him. ‘It was a few months after that we
actually had sex.’ The relationship has deepened over the last six months
and Neil expects it to last for some time. The boy is presently thirteen and
since he lives just around the corner it is convenient for Neil to see him
frequently. The boy’s parents know that their son is friendly with Neil but
‘obviously they do not know how far it has gone - they wouldn’t like that.’
He doesn’t feel that the boy’s parents are concerned about their
friendship as there are no indications that the boy ‘is developing in an
undesirable direction’. As well as seeing Neil, the boy is going out with
girls, which probably allays any suspicions the mother might have. Their
relationship is described as being very active as they see each other every
weekend. Neil feels that the boy enjoys their relationship, although he is not
sure how he views it. The boy has told Neil that he has not had sex with
another male, which Neil believes is true.
Asked
how important the sexual aspect of the relationship was for him, Neil replied:
‘More important than it should be. When it happened it was quite unexpected.
Before then I wouldn’t say that I was opposed to having sex, but certainly I
doubted it would happen. I had no clear idea of the mechanics of it, not
having had experience with anyone as young as that, or as small. I couldn’t
visualise how it would happen anyway. He sort of prepared the way as he likes
having wrestling matches and so gradually the wrestling became more and more
involved. So it developed that way. I suppose that made it easier.’ Neil
admits that he greatly enjoys the physical contact with the boy and wishes in
a way that it was not as important to him as it has become. A possible
solution would be to have sex with someone else (for example, a young adult of
about eighteen) as a means to perhaps devaluing its importance with this
particular boy. This is unlikely, however, because Neil sees the current
relationship as one which should last for a long time and one that demands a
measure of loyalty from him.
As
regards the issue of responsibility, Neil says the boy that he is involved
with is fully aware of what he is getting into and has been so from the
beginning. He thinks that the boy has the situation more under control than he
does. Neil believes that this boy will develop towards relationships with
girls, although he feels that he may be basically bisexual. It is important
that the boy sees the relationship as something to be proud of rather than
ashamed of. He thinks the boy looks up to him and talks to others about him.
He is concerned that he might cling too much to the boy at a later stage when
the relationship is moving towards a natural ending with the boy beginning to
expand his horizons. Even now Neil finds the relationship somewhat frightening
and a strain in that ‘there is always the fear of losing him’. He sees
this as somewhat irrational as there is nothing in the boy’s behaviour to
justify these feelings.
Neil
says he does not worry about the legal implications of his behaviour. He is
not ashamed of his actions because ‘the boy wanted the involvement’ and
‘is not being harmed in any way’. With respect to his status as a
paedophile, Neil says: ‘I suppose that overall I don’t regret it, but
obviously I have good reason to wish it was not so. I would live an easier
life.’
Before
the relationship began Neil experienced feelings of guilt and frustration,
wondering if a paedophilic relationship would be possible and how it might
begin. As a child he appears to have been emotionally isolated and detached
from other children. It was when he was about seventeen that he became aware
of an interest in younger boys. He describes a memory of sitting down opposite
a younger schoolmate in the dining-room and suddenly becoming aware of a ‘deep
emotional desire for him’. He claims it was not a physical longing even
though ‘it was his beauty that caused me to suffer the emotional involvement’.
At that point he still thought of sex in terms of girls. As a result of an ‘inquisition’
by his father he came to realise the strength of his feelings towards males
and subsequently that this was focused primarily on young boys.
Neil
has seen a psychiatrist at the request of his parents. The consultation period
was brief and he found it to be of little help. At some level he hoped that
there might have been a ‘magical formula’ that would stop him feeling the
way he did towards young boys. However, the psychiatrist’s main aim seemed
to have been to get him to accept his homosexuality (which he felt he had
already done). He is concerned about what will happen to him in the future,
about ‘the likely prospect of reaching middle age and older and still being
attracted to boys. I don’t see how one can have a good relationship. I don’t
think it is even desirable for a middle-aged chap to have a relationship with
boys. The trouble is that I can see that I will carry on exactly in the same
way.... I can’t see any way that the drive in that direction is going to
stop. . . . This is what worries me.’ In the case of his present
relationship he does not feel that the age difference is great enough to be
‘grotesque’. He recognises that he may change as he grows older himself,
but at present the idea of ‘a young boy going with a middle-aged man’ does
not appeal to him. He sees himself as living for his present relationship, and
‘the question is where do I go from there? When he grows up what do I do
then? Do I start again with someone else? By then I will be a damn sight
older. I must admit that it does amaze me that I find a boy so attractive. I
do wonder why he should have this strange effect.’
Neil’s
ambivalence towards his condition was highlighted in various other comments.
‘I think that in the end I shall probably regret what has happened. I don’t
regret the relationship at all but I regret the fact that by allowing myself
to go in this direction I am depriving myself of marriage and a family, which
I would like.... But getting married would be a risk; it might not work out. I
would be repressing myself, to no purpose.
Neil
also indicated that he disagreed with the aims of PIE in that he rejects the
idea that adults should have a ‘carte blanche’ with children. Such a
privilege would very likely be abused. He is concerned about the attitude of
the organisation towards sex with children as he thinks it reflects
self-interests which do not respect the needs of the children involved.
Children, he feels, do need to be protected to some extent.
S55: ‘Peter’
This
interview took place over two sessions but for present purposes these will be
summarised together. Peter was relaxed throughout the interview and showed no
inhibition in discussing his situation. Physically he was small in stature,
with mid-length hair and a short beard. He was twenty-two years old, and came
to the interview neatly dressed. Due to his work in the airline industry he
has been able to pursue his paedophilic interests in countries where it is not
illegal. He provided a great deal of information regarding the situation of
paedophiles in countries like the Philippines where he has spent considerable
time. He gives the impression of an individual who has adjusted well to his
circumstances and expresses no desire to change. He requested a second
interview as he felt there was more information he could provide that would be
of use to us and expressed concern that we might not be getting the whole
picture of paedophilia. He brought photographs, many taken by him, of boys
that he considered attractive.
Peter
indicated that his sexual interests are exclusively homosexual and directed
almost entirely towards young boys, although he has had sex with adults in the
past. The age range which he finds attractive is 10-16 with the prime age
being thirteen. With respect to physical qualities, Peter expresses a desire
for boys who are slim, have long hair and a minimal amount of body hair.
Psychological qualities which are regarded as attractive in children include
devotion, gentleness, loyalty, eagerness to learn and curiosity. ‘They don’t
seem to have all the hang-ups that adults do.’
Peter
currently lives with his parents and says they have known about his homosexual
interests since he was fifteen. At this time he became friends with a group of
gays who were living next to his family’s home. On one occasion he attended
a party at their house which resulted in a police investigation in which he
was questioned about what the men had done to him. Therefore, he says, ‘I
have had experience on both sides of the fence.’ Although the police were
attempting to prosecute the men involved, neither Peter nor his parents wished
to bring charges.
At
this stage in his life Peter had a girlfriend as well as being involved with
other men. Over the next few years, however, he found his sexual interests
beginning to focus almost exclusively on young boys. Although he had always
found young boys generally attractive it was when he was about eighteen that
they became physically attractive to him. Peter’s parents apparently
tolerate his paedophilic behaviour fairly well; although they do not openly
condone it, they do allow him to bring boys into the house during the day. His
mother is described as being dominating and bossy while his father is quiet
and easy-going. Their relationship is said to be good and they seldom argue.
They have an open attitude towards sexuality and appear to have discussed the
topic with him. His early sexual experience was one of mutual exploration
carried out with a female cousin.
Peter’s
sphere of activity has been considerably expanded by recent trips abroad to
countries like the Philippines, which he describes as ‘probably the best
place in the world for a paedophile to live’. According to Peter, there is
no minimum age of consent in the Philippines and sex between adult men and
young boys goes on quite openly. Among other countries he has visited which he
regards as more liberal with respect to paedophilia are Thailand and
Mauritius. In Britain it is possible to have a relationship with a boy, but it
is made difficult by the intense suspicion aroused by any contact between men
and boys. Peter has had his home raided by the police in a search for
pornographic material or anything else that might incriminate him. Some
information obtained by the police led to the questioning of a boy with whom
Peter had been involved, in an unsuccessful attempt to obtain a conviction. As
a consequence, he is now careful not to write down any names or addresses, or
to keep letters that might be used against him.
Despite
this fear of prosecution, Peter does find it possible to have relations with
boys in England and provides as an example an involvement he had with the son
of friends of the family which lasted for three years. The termination of such
relation-ships ‘is sort of a mutual thing really, because most of the boys I
have been with are heterosexual’. The boy becomes interested in girls and
Peter loses sexual interest in them as they grow up, although the friendship
usually remains. As to the effect that such a relationship will have on the
boy, Peter believes that it will frequently be positive as it teaches them
something about the development of relationships and caring about somebody
other than themselves. This is seen to be of benefit in future heterosexual
relationships.
With
respect to his future Peter entertains the possibility that he might get
married and have children of his own. This could only occur if the woman was
aware of his interest in children.
Fantasy
plays an important role in Peter’s sex life, particularly when he is in
England where he does not have any relationships with boys at the moment. Now
that he is travelling a lot he finds it possible to develop relationships
where it is more acceptable. Peter thinks it likely that someday he will leave
England and live in a country like Denmark where he believes the attitudes
towards paedophilia are more liberal.
Peter
expressed distaste for violence inflicted upon children, maintaining that the
real paedophile loves children. ‘People seem to associate violence against
children with paedophilia. If somebody attacks a boy, rapes him, or murders
him, they automatically assume that person is a paedophile because it’s a
boy. It’s like saying that if a heterosexual man goes out and rapes a woman,
you’ve got to ban heterosexuality.’ Whereas the public imagine that
paedophiles prey on boys, usually it is the child who initiates the sexual
contact and is the more adventurous party in the relationship.
Peter
estimates that he has been involved in relationships with between twenty and
thirty boys, the majority outside England. Generally he feels good about his
paedophilic interests, while acknowledging that in this country it would be
better if he wasn’t one. He expresses no desire to change his behaviour
although at the request of his parents he has seen a psychiatrist briefly.
This experience he describes as ‘boring’. He does not believe there is any
‘cure’ for paedophilia. He does believe it is possible for a paedophile to
be involved with children without sexual contact, ‘because a lot of it
depends on a person’s sex drive’.
In
the second interview Peter began by presenting pictures of boys that he found
attractive, some of which he had taken himself. They were mostly of boys in
Scandinavia and the Philippines. He went on to describe his activities in the
Philippines in some detail. In particular, he talked about the village of
Pagsajan which he calls ‘the boy-lovers’ capital of the world’. His
paedophilic lifestyle appears to be completely open while he is there. Boys
stay with the paedophiles for long periods with the consent of their parents.
Peter described meeting the families of many of the boys he has been involved
with there and the way in which they openly condone his involvement with their
children.
Peter
also cited some movies that paedophiles have found particularly enjoyable.
Examples are Death in Venice, The Champ, and The Last Snows of Spring. In
providing examples of child movie stars who are idolised by paedophiles he
remarked that ‘on physical attraction the one area of a boy that will
attract us is his backside; that is the main area of attraction. A boy in a
pair of jeans like that [looking at a picture of a young boy] is attractive.’
Looking at a picture of two child stars he notes that these boys became a cult
with paedophiles as ‘they symbolise everything that most guys look for in a
boy’.
S62: ‘Garry’
Garry
is small in stature and looks quite young for his stated age of thirty-nine.
He described himself as being unemployed. Although he was willing to talk
about his life as a paedophile, initially he was somewhat concerned about the
security involved. A further concern was that we were attempting to determine
the causes of paedophilia for the purposes of treatment, which we were able to
persuade him was not our intention.
Garry
indicated that his paedophilic interests are homosexual with boys about the
age of ten being most attractive to him, although he admits to being attracted
to boys aged 2-18 years. When asked what it is about a ten-year-old boy that
attracts him Garry replied that the physical aspect is the initial attraction.
Smallness in stature, physical vitality and healthy complexion were cited as
important. Garry claimed to be particularly attracted to black children and
thought this was because he associated the skin colour with health in some
way. He did not feel sexually attracted to all children, especially not those
who are ‘slothful or lazy’. This highly prized physical vitality is also
identified by Garry in some adult men and women, although in them it is not
seen as a sexual attraction. With adults his feelings are ‘appreciative’
rather than sexual.
Psychologically,
children are enjoyed for their lack of respect for convention, their openness
in expressing their feelings. In describing the initial meeting with a child
Garry states: ‘It is quite likely that a child would speak to me first so
that there would be some sort of rapport established. I find that very much
easier between myself and a child than it would be with an adult. A child
would be much more honest in the things he says. For instance, if he doesn’t
like you he will make it quite clear, and that’s it.’
Although
Garry has had sex with adult women he has not found it a satisfying
experience. He was involved in one relationship that lasted for about eighteen
months. With respect to sex with women he states: ‘While in itself it was
satisfying, I felt that very often I had to pretend while I was having sex
with her. I had to fantasise that it was a little boy during the actual sexual
act. But I must admit I quite enjoyed the time before that
-
the erotic play.’ This heterosexual involvement is viewed as being mainly
the result of a feeling of guilt about being paedophilic. If given the choice
Garry would want to be exclusively paedophilic.
Garry’s
first sexual experience was masturbation which initially involved fantasy
directed at people in general. How-ever, at about the age of thirteen he
became aware that the object of fantasy had become boys younger than himself -
an interest which has remained to the present. As a boy of nine he was
involved with a boy of fourteen, although he did not find this very sexual or
pleasant; the older boy he describes as being ‘clumsy’. He has been aware
of being paedophile in his sexual orientation since about the age of thirteen.
He did have some contacts with adult homosexuals at this time in his life,
although these are described as being very rare.
At
this point Garry was asked about relations with his parents, to which he
replied: ‘Are you interested in the aetiology of paedophilia and if so, why?’
He was clearly suspicious of psychiatrists who might want to ‘cure’
paedophilia. It was necessary to reassure him that this was not our concern,
that we were interested only in studying the paedophilic lifestyle without
passing judgement or making any attempt to change their behaviour.
He
described himself as being close to his parents. His mother was pictured as
being outgoing and active, whereas his father was a quiet man. It would appear
that he had a good relationship with his parents, although he received no sex
education from them and learned about it through his peers.
Garry
claimed to have been involved with approximately forty children with whom the
relationship was extended over time and moved towards a sexual involvement.
However, he states: ‘I’ve probably had some sort of contact with children
which has been sexual, in my mind at least, 200 or possibly about 300 times.
In most of these the child himself wouldn’t have realised that it was sexual
because it is so timid. What I mean by that is perhaps touching them up. They
wouldn’t even realise that it was sexual in intention.’ Over the last ten
years Garry admits to about 20-25 involvements with boys that have extended to
sexual relationships. When asked to describe the sequence that a relationship
might go through he gave as an example a relationship that developed
approximately ten years ago. While walking to work he had noticed a child whom
he described as being ‘quite sexually attractive to me’. At the time Garry
happened to be without a place to live, and on looking at a notice board he
saw a room for rent close to where he thought the boy lived. It turned out, in
fact, that the boy lived in the very same house with his mother and younger
brother. Over the first two years their relationship was essentially
non-sexual; they just did things together like going out shopping. The
relationship became sexual with an approach by the child when he asked Garry
if he could sleep with him, which he did. This was the beginning of a sexual
relationship which lasted for two years and ended only when the family moved
to Canada. By that time Garry had become involved sexually with the younger
boy as well. He felt that the mother had some idea of what was going on
although she did not openly acknowledge this. Garry has maintained contact
with this family despite their leaving England. The older boy has since
married and had a child to whom Garry is godfather.
This
is seen as ideal in that, although the sexual relationship was brought to an
end, the emotional attachment has remained. Not all relationships would come
to an abrupt end as this one did, although there would be a gradual decrease
in sexual involvement as the secondary sexual characteristics appeared in the
child. Garry claims that one of his sexual relationships lasted until the boy
was eighteen, although it had tempered somewhat due to the boy’s involvement
with girls. Also, his own attraction is reduced by the appearance of pubic
hair, and other maturational developments.
In
response to the argument that paedophilic relationships are damaging to
children, Garry maintained that being involved in a paedophilic relationship
will certainly affect the child but in a way that he considers positive. By
this he means that they will become more openly sexually and ‘develop in the
direction that they should’, which might be homosexual if that is their
natural orientation. It has been his experience, however, that none of the
boys that he has been involved with in a long-term relationship has become
homosexual (although he does feel that several are bisexual).
Long-term
relationships are preferred by Garry to short involvements, with the initial
attachment being emotional and the sexual aspect coming later. It is quite
possible that in any given relationship the sexual part of the relationship
will not develop at all. As to how it might be initiated, Garry says: ‘I don’t
think it’s entirely their instigation. I wouldn’t say that I don’t put
out feelers, but they are often so vague and could be interpreted in different
ways by the boys, that something would have to register in his mind for it to
become sexual.’ If the child does not want this type of involvement then it
should not be forced upon them, according to Garry. He illustrates this with
his own situation, in that until recently approximately twenty children were
visiting his house regularly, and he was only involved sexually with four of
them. Most of the others were not even aware of his sexual interest, although
they were still welcome in the house. At this point Garry described most of
his sexual relationships with children as involving masturbation and fellatio
rather than anal intercourse.
When
the issues surrounding the legal status of paedophilia were discussed, Garry
revealed that a year before he had been given a three-month suspended sentence
for activities relating to his paedophilic behaviour. He was actually charged
with indecent assault, having been alleged to have placed his hand on the
crotch of three children who were in his home. Since this time he has had to
be very careful about allowing children into his home. Although his
orientation is now known where he lives, he claims that many of his neighbours
have been supportive towards him and still allow their children to visit him.
This position seems to have been adopted particularly by those who know him
well. One of his major concerns with respect to legal conviction, he says, is
the effect it would have on his family, particularly his parents and sister.
He is also concerned about the effect that a police investigation might have
on the child. He does not feel that there should be an age-of-consent barrier.
However, he says: ‘I do think there should be a restriction on people who
act in a predatory way towards children and I think that’s something that’s
present in all paedophiles, including myself. It’s looking at the child as
an object. I think that attitude must be present in all adults to some extent.
Most paedophiles are very aware of it, which is a good thing. But there are
people who are predatory paedophiles, in the same way that there are predatory
heterosexuals. There must be restrictions on their activities.’ If a child
is physically assaulted then this should be treated according to the law of
assault in the same way that such an act would be treated when physical,
violent assault takes place against an adult.
Garry
sees his paedophilic behaviour as an integrated and desirable part of his
personality. The legal restrictions imposed by society are what disturb him,
not his own behaviour. Following his conviction for indecent assault it was
suggested that he seek psychiatric help, which he did. He has continued to see
the psychiatrist occasionally as he is concerned about the court case against
PIE that is pending. He fears that this might result in his being charged
again. In this event it would be to his benefit to be under psychiatric care.
He does not feel, however, that this consultation is changing his views on
paedophilia and he does not attend in the hope of a ‘cure’.
S64: ‘Harry’
Harry
presented himself in clothing which suggested he had travelled to the
interview on a motorbike. He looked to be in his mid-thirties. In general it
was somewhat difficult to establish rapport with him. He seemed defensive
about his position and ill at ease discussing it. He was not entirely friendly
and I was hesitant to push the questioning too far.
Harry
indicated that his sexual preference is heterosexual with the ideal age being
about twelve, and the range of attractive girls being about 9-22 years. Asked
what aspect of children attracts him Harry had difficulty providing any other
descriptor than ‘openness’. When this was pursued it emerged that he does
have sex with adults. ‘In some ways I’m the real libertarian.’ The age
barrier of twenty-two was then revealed to be highly flexible as women of
forty and over were described as being attractive. He mentioned a
seventy-two-year-old woman who had developed a community in North London for
the purposes of ‘sexual sharing’, and as an aside remarked: ‘I also know
a little French boy of six or seven who’s just gone back to France.... In
other words, you know, they’re just people.’ Pressed again as to what
aspect of children he found attractive, Harry claimed the question was
meaningless since he found sex with adults equally satisfying. Again the word
‘libertarian was used to describe those who accept this position.
Asked
how old was the youngest individual he had ever been involved with sexually,
Harry outlined his initial sexual experiences as a young boy with girls of his
own age in experiences of ‘mutual discovery’. On more direct questioning
he indicated that as an adult the youngest child that he has been involved
with sexually was eight. But as noted above, he has also had sex with adults,
including some older than himself.
Harry’s
relationship with his parents was described as ‘fine’ and his sex
education ‘conventional’. His mother was ‘very knowledgeable and
hard-working’. His father died of cancer when he was fourteen. He did not
have any brothers or sisters. By this time the interview had become very
bogged down since Harry, unlike most of the other paedophiles interviewed,
seemed reluctant to volunteer any information. Asked what relationships he had
had with children, he said: ‘It’s going back some time. I really can’t
recall them all. I’m somewhat inhibited about talking about it. There was
Charlie, and he was twelve years old, or something like that. I met him, you
know, and he used to come home, etc., etc.’
Asked
how he made his contacts with children, Harry said: ‘I would be, say,
working on the motorbike outside the house, or something like that, and a
child would come along and say he’d got a problem with his bicycle or
something, and the relationship would develop from there. A child I brought
home once was through meeting the parents, you know that way -there’s all
these variants.’ Sometimes, he said, he would get to know a child but the
relationship would not develop sexually at all; it would remain strictly a
friendship. Over his adult life Harry says he has been involved in about five
relationships with children that developed sexually.
A
typical pattern that a relationship might follow was then described. ‘Take
Shelley; she was a young girl. I think I met her when she was about seven. I
used to have a relationship with her mother, actually. I used to go to her
place and she used to run around in the nude, and that sort of thing. You must
understand her mother was liberal about that sort of thing. So she wanted to
see me in the nude one day when her mother was out. I said yes. That would be
one particular relationship. She was an only child and her mother was a very
liberal sort of person - very libertarian, women’s libbish sort of thing. In
that particular case, in fact, she tailed off, and Ijust see the mother and
the child and there is no sexual relationship at all. I just go as a friend,
although the child still runs around in the nude sometimes.’ That
relationship continued on a sexual basis for approximately a year involving
perhaps twenty-five meetings with the child. Asked if the mother was aware of
the situation, Harry replied:
‘Yeah,
in some ways, because the girl used to jump in the bath with me.’
Harry
then described a relationship with an eleven-year-old boy ‘who used to come
round and he got hold of some magazines I used to have. He was a very open
child, very vocal, very inquisitive, that sort of thing, and we would strip
off, that’s all about that.’
Once
again Harry was asked what kind of children he found sexually appealing. He
used the adjectives ‘attractive’ and ‘energetic’. He said that
coercion is not a part of his approach to children and that relationships need
to develop spontaneously.
Asked
if he fantasised about children, Harry indicated that he did, although
apparently not very often - ‘maybe once a week or not for three months’.
These fantasies would generally be based on children that he had seen.
Harry
does not think it likely that the legal restrictions concerning relationships
between adults and children will change in the near future. If such changes
did occur he would want to continue to have ‘just normal relationships, well
the relationships (I won’t say they’re normal or abnormal) that I already
have’. He does feel, however, that society is moving in a direction which
may be more permissive concerning adult-child relationships.
When
asked if he felt that being involved in a paedophilic relationship would
affect a child in any way, Harry said that he could not know since he had not
lived in a society where such an event was an accepted part of the lifestyle.
Asked specifically about possible effects upon his own partners, he replied:
‘I don’t know. How do I know whether they benefited or not?’ His
position was that these children are influenced by much greater forces, such
as deprived living conditions, compared with which the effects of a
paedophilic involvement are really quite minimal. On the basis of his own
experience he did not think it likely that such relationships have a
detrimental effect.
Harry’s
feelings about his preference for children were expressed as follows: ‘I
would like to think I was blasé about it. If I cared I would be neurotic....
I’d always be tense and nervous. I don’t flout it around. I realise I’m
not alone, there’s thousands of other people like me.’ He does not believe
there is anything morally wrong with being a paedophile.
Returning
to an earlier line of questioning, Harry was asked what kind of sexual
activity might be entered into with a child. ‘The conventional sexual things
that people do with a child’ was his answer. Asked specifically if this
would include sexual intercourse with a young girl, he said: ‘No, actually I
never managed sexual intercourse with a young girl. It’s feasible though; I
could see it happening.’
Harry
would like to see the law changed such that people could see and do what they
wished. This would include legalising pornography and allowing children to
enter into sexual relationships with adults if they so desired. With respect
to the concern that children don’t know entirely what is good for them, he
notes that in those countries where laws regarding the age of consent are not
so strict children do not appear to be damaged in any meaningful way. Children
are motivated by curiosity and discovery, he says, and do not worry about
moral or legal issues. If he was to live in a country where sex with children
was legal it is not clear whether he would be exclusively paedophilic. Even in
that context he considers it possible that he might enter into a heterosexual
relationship in marriage, although he expresses no respect for the family
unit.
At
this point it was revealed that Harry had been involved with a man when he was
a boy. He was thirteen when it began, and it continued for three years, during
which time the sexual involvement was sustained. The man was a dentist and had
a wife and daughter. He remembers how strange it felt as a child that a man of
such social standing should be interested in him. He acknowledged other
involvements with adults when he was a child, but described them as ‘one-offs’.
He does not view these experiences as having been detrimental to his
development.
S81: ‘Derek’
Derek
was very relaxed throughout the interview and very willing to discuss his
paedophile interests. Physically he is tall and, although forty-seven years
old, gives the impression of an individual who does not want to be closely
associated with those of his own generation. He appeared completely at ease
with his lifestyle and did not seem to be withholding any information that he
felt would be of interest, which made talking to him very easy. In his
capacity as a social worker he comes into close contact with boys of the age
range that he finds sexually attractive, but because of the obvious risks
involved he makes an effort to refrain from any paedophilic activity. He is
currently living in a house with a young couple. When the young man was a boy,
Derek had a paedophilic relationship with him, of which the wife is aware.
Derek
says that what attracts him in children is very much in line with what he
hears heterosexuals describing as attractive. He acknowledges two components
to evaluating a boy - the psychological and the physical. Derek is exclusively
homosexual in his interests. Although the physical qualities of the boy that
are attractive will disappear as that boy grows up, Derek makes a distinction
that is important to him in this regard. ‘The most attractive age of an
English boy is about fourteen, but if the boy sort of sticks with me he’s
still attractive to me. Brian and I related till he was near enough eighteen.
I couldn’t possibly start going with a boy of seventeen to eighteen; I just
wouldn’t want to know. But because I knew Brian since he was a kid, it was a
different thing. It was a special relationship.’ The point is made that it
is not just looks that are important, although the physical attraction is most
important initially. The boy must be ‘mentally attractive’. ‘I like kids
gentle really, a sort of gentle nature. I don’t like aggressive people.
Normally it’s as much the nature as the looks. The looks are the initial
thing, the same as it is when a bloke looks at a girl. The appearance is the
initial interest. But then you’ve got to get to know the person.
The
discussion then centred on Derek’s relationship with Brian. This continued
on a sexual basis until Brian was eighteen and developed heterosexual
interests. Derek thinks most boys go through a period of development in which
they experience homosexual interests which will last for varying lengths of
time depending on the individual. He thinks it likely that if Brian had not
developed heterosexual interests the relationship might have continued for
longer. This would have occurred despite the fact that Derek does not normally
find himself attracted to adult males.
Derek
has been involved in two long-term relationships, both of which lasted for
five years. In both cases the boys concerned developed heterosexual interests
and have since married. The wife of one of these boys does not know of this
previous relationship, whereas Brian’s wife does know and supposedly feels
quite positive about it as a past experience. ‘There are people I’ve known
for many years and I didn’t tell, but over the last few years quite a lot of
them have got to know. I’ve not bothered to hide it any more, and it doesn’t
make any difference. Instinct tells me who I can tell and who I can’t.’ It
seems that all of Brian’s family are aware of his previous involvement with
Derek and do not seem to be particularly bothered by it. Derek describes
himself as being on good terms with the family in general.
As
a social worker Derek frequently comes into contact with young boys who
present behaviour problems. In this context he is careful to watch his
behaviour, although he is aware that there is a certain amount of suspicion
from some of his co-workers concerning his possible homosexuality. He takes
care to avoid behaviours that he feels give him away, especially running and
throwing.
Derek
admits certain immature aspects to his personality. ‘In a lot of ways I’ve
never grown up. I can enjoy the things, although I’m forty-seven years old,
that kids enjoy. . . . I’ve been called the original Peter Pan by one or two
people as a joke. In some respects I’m not emotionally grown-up.’ Derek
finds that when he takes part in games with children, as occurs sometimes in
his work, he often enjoys them to the same extent as the children. Despite
this mutual fun with children, he says he has never been sexually involved
with children in his care.
At
this point it emerged that, when he was twenty-one, Derek served a three-year
prison sentence for ‘gross indecency’ with a small boy. Over the period
that he has worked in his present job there have been a few children that he
has found attractive and he has avoided contact with them. ‘In any case I
never twist anybody’s arm. I will create the opportunity and wait and see
what the results are, but I’ve never persuaded them to do anything they didn’t
want to do. Once I’ve made it obvious I’ve got an interest, having decided
there isn’t a great deal of risk to it, then if there’s been no response
then fair enough, that’s it. It must be a two-way thing, otherwise it is of
no interest to me.
Following
his prison term Derek changed his name and did not go back to the area where
he had been living. ‘I literally built a new life.’ He describes himself
as having been foolish at the time and that if he knew then what he knows now
he could have got off. He also claims that he was very much in love with the
boy at the time.
Derek
says that sex was seldom discussed by his parents, especially not his father.
He left home at fifteen years old, and his parents never discussed his
conviction with him. He describes himself as having been a terror at school,
which he left early. His first sexual experiences were with other boys in
boarding school. He has tried to get involved with women but found them
unsatisfying. ‘It doesn’t do a thing for me.’
Prior
to his two long-term relationships Derek had many relationships that went on
for a few months but ‘never a really lasting one’. For the last four years
he has not had any real relationships at all. ‘Things are tougher now than
they used to be, mainly because people are so conscious.... Any kid that would
like to have a relationship is scared stiff to do so in case his friends find
out, whereas at one time, before “gay lib” and that kind of thing, it was
something that was hardly ever thought or talked about.’
Derek
has travelled to the Philippines and planned to spend a month there during his
next holidays. ‘That is absolutely fantastic. I’ve never felt so free in
my life.’ He went on to describe the way of life in the Philippines which
makes it a ‘paradise’, particularly the openness towards paedophilia. He
had formed relationships which were openly condoned by the parents. Although
paedophilia was very common in this society, he claims there was no excess of
adult homosexuality. This he took to be evidence that homosexual contact in
childhood was not irrevocably corrupting with respect to sex orientation.
Derek has considered moving to the Philippines, but admits that this would be
a difficult cultural adjustment.
As
Derek is not currently involved in a relationship, fantasy was acknowledged as
important to him. He has some films and ‘not so much fantasies as memories’
about past relationships. In talking about a possible future relationship in
the Philippines he indicates that what would appeal to him in particular is a
boy whom he thinks is basically homosexual. Derek thinks he can tell whether a
boy will eventually develop a heterosexual orientation or remain homosexual.
Such things as attitudes, interests and sexual behaviour contain clues which
he feels predict the sexual orientation that will eventually prevail.
Asked
about the legal restrictions placed on paedophilic behaviour, Derek said: ‘They’re
bloody stupid really.’ He claims that the child who seeks a sexual
relationship and is forced into an experience with a boy his own age is likely
to be emotionally hurt because there will be no sense of commitment. The
paedophilic relationship he believes is a ‘safer’ relationship. ‘There’s
no way I would ever hurt a kid’s feelings.’ The paedophile would want to
continue the relationship whereas another child would probably just be after a
one-off encounter.
Derek
questions the assumptions that children do not know what is good for them and
need to be protected and that they will be damaged by being involved in
paedophilic relationships. In his experience there is no indication that boys
involved with a paedophile are more likely to be homosexual in adulthood. He
agrees that no child should be forced into a relationship, but if they wish to
have such a relationship they should be allowed to do so. Britain is seen as
being particularly repressive in its attitudes towards paedophilia, not only
as compared with countries like the Philippines but also other European
countries like Sweden and France where attitudes are described as being more
liberal even though it is still illegal.
Derek
has never sought any professional help for his paedophilia because he ‘can’t
see the point’. While in prison he did see a psychiatrist but this was a
futile exercise done to satisfy the authorities. ‘There’s no way you can
change, and the sooner you bloody well realise that the better adjusted to
life you become. You have to accept it, you’re different and that’s it.’
Derek feels that attempts to change sexual orientation very often result in
tremendous emotional upheaval for the person involved and ultimately cause a
great deal of unhappiness. It is much better, he thinks, to leave people as
they are in their sexual orientation rather than make a moral decision that
they should change. In some countries such as Sweden children are seen as
being much more mature in their behaviour and attitudes towards sexuality than
are British children. The issue of protection of the child is also somewhat
peculiar according to Derek, in that it implies that the child needs to be
protected against himself since these are behaviours that he might want to
engage in. He does not feel that lowering the age of consent will put children
at any greater risk.
Derek
then described how important he feels he has been in the life of the boy Brian
with whom he was involved for five years. At the time that Brian met Derek he
was having great difficulty at home and school and was generally very
unsettled. Derek feels that his behaviour improved as a result of their
relationship, such that he did better at school and subsequently found a good
skilled job. In his opinion, the boy benefited greatly from his paedophilic
encounter and yet he still developed a normal heterosexual relationship when
he grew up.